When Al went before the Senate, he gave this speech to get Psycho Dad back on the air.
Since man has evolved from the mighty atom, he has searched endlessly for two things. The other is entertainment. Entertainment was easy for the simple caveman. Man brought home food, woman burned it. Giant pterodactyl swoops down, chases woman, she falls in mud, a good laugh was had by all. But our point here is, we know where real violence comes from. And it's not from that magic box I like to call TV. Oh sure, the tube can be blamed for a lot of things: Brent Musberger; "Full House"; any show where overweight female cops dress up as hookers... But violence? That's too easy. We've all been brought up on Roadrunner cartoons and The Three Stooges, but how many of us have run a saw across a bald guy's head? How many of us have drawn a tunnel on the side of a mountain, only to watch our loved ones smash themselves into it? And you know why? Because we had parents, ladies and gentlemen, parents who said "Don't do what TV tells you to do, do what we tell you to do, or it's five across the eyes!" Anyway, I say if there's a problem with TV today, it's because parents aren't saying that anymore. Take my kids. Please. [...] Anyways, my kids may not be angels, but when they screw up, I don't blame television. I put the blame squarely where it belongs - on their mother. [...] So in conclusion, I'd like to say the next time you want to find the source of violence, try looking on the other side of the screen. Thank you, and God save the Queen.