But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy is the third episode of Season 1 of the FOX sitcom Married... with Children, as well as the 3rd overall episode in the series. Written by Ron Burla, the episode was directed by Linda Day and premiered on FOX on April 19, 1987.
Synopsis[]
The neighborhood has a local robber on the loose. Steve and Marcy get a guard dog named Bella after their house is robbed, Al buys a gun to protect his home. A noise in the night puts both defenses to the test.
Plot[]
Peggy is sitting on the couch with Buck lying across her lap. She is watching a quiz show and gets all questions wrong. Then, a commercial comes on and asks its own question.
TV: Hey America! Who do you call when you don't want to cook?
Peggy: Ahab's!
Peggy is correct just in time for Al to come home from work. He enters and asks for Peggy to rub his back. This leads to a sexual moment between the two as Peggy kisses his neck. Al turns around to kiss Peggy and asks where the kids are at. They are upstairs and Peggy takes care of them by asking them to help in the kitchen. This leads to two doors slamming.
They lie down to have sex only to have two neighbors named Muldoon and Norris enter with Steve and Marcy. They represent the neighborhood watch which Peggy invited. Marcy announces that her house was robbed this afternoon. Steve reports that it was simply small stuff that was stolen, namely their radio, Marcy's earrings, their cameras and answering machine.
Muldoon states that he knows how this vermin work where they first come for the small things and then return for the big stuff. He then reports that he has "50 thousand bolts going through his window bars, a bucket of battery acid hanging over the back door, and 30 aut 6 rigged to the front doorknob."
Steve asks how Muldoon will get into his house before Marcy calls for hunting down the scum, running them over with their cars and using fish hooks on them before Steve stops her. Marcy admits that she feels violated and helpless. Al makes life worse for Marcy by saying that everyone in the room would feel helpless in her bedroom.
Al asks why the meeting is being held at his house. Norris answers by saying that their wives didn't want him in their houses. Then another neighbor named Bronson enters to tell Al that he is sorry that he got robbed. After Al says that it was Steve and Marcy that got robbed, Bronson tells him that somebody smashed his car windshield, stole his radio and wrote "Wash me" on his hood. Al then kicks out the neighbors though Steve and Marcy remain inside the house.
Al is upset that his car radio was stolen which leads Steve to comfort him. Meanwhile, Marcy decides that they should get more involved in the neighborhood watch before Al announces that he is going to buy a gun. Marcy objects to Al buying a gun because you can't "curtail to the criminal element by sinking to their level." Al reminds Marcy of her statement saying that she wants to "run them over and get out the fish hooks." Marcy admits that she was upset while Peggy states that she wasn't using the left or analytical, portion of the brain.
Al states that he is going to get a gun. Steve protests by saying that there has to be a more humane way of protecting a home and possessions. Marcy's idea is to get a dog, a good watch dog. Al volunteers Buck to be that dog, but he reacts by putting his head on his paws. Marcy counters by saying that she and Steve should head for one of those "deadly doggie places" and get a vicious dog that has "sharp teeth that'll go through a jugular like a hot knife cutting through butter on a warm summer night."
Their answer is a dog that just will not stop barking. At breakfast, Al asks Peggy when she last called to complain about the dog. She answers yesterday but is told to stop calling because the ringing makes him bark though it is clear that everything makes him bark. Bud turns the conversation to the gun and asks Al why he can't see it. Peggy states that guns are lethal weapons and should only be handled by responsible adults. This includes Al who was practicing quick draws at the TV during Donahue, but it was okay because Peggy hid the bullets.
The doorbell rings and Peggy answers it. It is Steve and Marcy wearing huge foam arm protectors while Steve holds out a cup. He wants to borrow a cup of kibble because the dog is still hungry, even after eating the neighbor's cat. Peggy states that they both look cute and that she can't get Al to dress unisex. But Steve corrects her by saying that it is protective gear because Bella hasn't accepted them as his rightful owners.
Al: You named that dog after Bella Lugosi?
Steve: No, Abzug.
Marcy: We thought it was kind of cute... But he won't wear the hat.
Steve then apologies for Bella eating a hole, the size of a human head, through the Bundys fence. Al is upset over the situation but he promises to handle it. Marcy states that she knows that Bella is loud and that the entire neighborhood hates his guts, but he's a good protector. He apparently is good enough as Muldoon enters and announces that the robbers just hit the Johnson's and that the TV and major appliances were stolen. Steve and Marcy are happy that they didn't hit their place again.
Later that night, almost everyone is asleep in bed with Al snoring in the elder Bundy's bedroom. It is silent until a loud crash is heard. This wakes up Al. Alarmed, he wakes up Peggy who doesn't hear any noise at first, but then another sound is heard which causes her to become alarmed. Al wants to check, but Peggy wants him to call the police. He tries, but it turns out that Kelly is on the phone. Al grabs his gun from the bedside drawer and asks for the bullets which are in the bowling ball.
Al asks where Buck is at and why he isn't barking. He gets his answer with Buck running into the room and onto the bed. He then commands Peggy to stay upstairs. If something were to happen, she is to lock herself and the kids in a room and call the police if Kelly is off the phone. Al heads downstairs toward the backyard patio. Peggy, who is following with the bowling ball, asks Al to be careful.
Al exits to the patio and tells the intruder to freeze or he will shoot. Then a shot is heard and this causes Peggy, Bud, and Kelly to run downstairs. Fortunately for them, Al reenters the house unscathed. Unfortunately for him, he just shot Steve and Marcy's dog.
A bit later, everyone is gathered around the kitchen table with Al's gun on that table. He defends himself saying that all he saw were two yellow eyes staring at him from the bushes. He thought the dog made a move at him and he panicked.
When Kelly tells Al that he couldn't tell the difference between a dog and a human being, his excuse is that he was wearing a hat. Bud then asks if he can see the body to which Kelly replies that he is disgusting and Bud fires back that she is failing five classes. Al figures that everyone can learn something from this but he forgets and sends the kids to bed. Kelly retorts by telling Bud that she wouldn't argue with him because "he's already killed once tonight."
Once the kids head upstairs, Peggy tells Al that he was very brave and Al tells her that he got the dog right between the eyes. They start to head upstairs only to be stopped by the ringing of the doorbell. They guess that it is Steve and Marcy and decide to not bring up the dog if they don't bring it up.
They enter and mention that they heard a shot which the Bundys deny to the point that Peggy states that if there'd been a shot, their dog would have started barking. Once the Rhoades are inside, Marcy asks why Bella hasn't been barking. Al sits Steve and Marcy on the couch and says that he really loves them though Steve says not really. Peggy implores Al to tell the truth which he does. Al states that he shot their dog and that he isn't alive. Marcy asks Al where Bella is and Al replies that he is out in the yard. "You can't miss him... I didn't."
Steve goes to check on Bella while Marcy confronts Al. He lies by saying that a prowler was stalking the yard and that their dog came to his defense. The burglar took a shot at him, he fired and Bella got in the way. Marcy states that they only heard one shot. Al continues his lie by saying that the shot was a simultaneous exchange and that it happened so fast that it's all a blur.
Steve returns to the living room and tells Al that he shot Bella in the middle of a BOWEL MOVEMENT! Marcy asks if Bella is really dead to which Steve replies that the dog didn't respond to any of his commands and that his brains are in the begonias.
Al apologies and wants to make it up to them by buying another dog in which Marcy says that he wants the dog for target practice. She tells Steve and Al that he should have not gotten a gun and that Al has taken an innocent life. But Al tells Marcy that the dog is anything but innocent because he bit her, ate a cat, and could have robbed a bank if given enough time.
Al asks how much they want for him which Marcy replies one thousand dollars for a dog that just sat there and let Al shoot him. Steve adds that if Al wants to get off cheap next time, he should go plug a squirrel. But Marcy is willing to forget the money in exchange for the gun which she wants to throw into the Chicago river.
The next day Peggy is folding laundry when Al enters from the backyard. He announces that Old Bella is on his way to the landfill and that it cost $20 and a six-pack for the garbage man. Peggy responds by saying that she washed his killing clothes. She then goes upstairs with the laundry while the doorbell rings.
It is Steve who apologies for words that were said last night. He and Marcy understand that Al didn't do the shooting on purpose and they decide to let it go and forgive Al for what he has done. But there is a catch, Steve wants the body. The plan is for a decent burial in their backyard under the big tree where he always did his business. Al manages to get out of this mess by saying that he would handle the arrangements.
At the funeral, a small group of neighbors in addition to Steve and Marcy are gathered in their backyard with Marcy wearing dark glasses. Al and Peggy enter carrying a large box and it is put in the ground. It turns out that it cost one hundred and fifty dollars. While Steve is giving the eulogy, Peggy informs Al that the crate contains some rocks and his bowling ball. Steve notices and comforts him.
Cast[]
Regular Cast[]
- Ed O'Neill as Al Bundy
- Katey Sagal as Peggy Bundy
- Christina Applegate as Kelly Bundy
- David Faustino as Bud Bundy
- Amanda Bearse as Marcy Rhoades
- David Garrison as Steve Rhoades
- Buck the dog as Buck Bundy (uncredited)
Recurring Cast[]
Guest Stars[]
- Thomas Hill as Muldoon
- J. Jay Saunders as Bronson
- Greg Breg as Commercial Actor (uncredited/voice)
- Brent Stait as Neighborhood Watch Member (uncredited)
Quotes[]
- Peggy: Bud, guns are not toys. They are lethal weapons and should only be handled by responsible adults.
- Bud: Well, when Dad was practicing his quick draws at the TV during Donahue...
- Marcy: Look, we know Bella can be loud, and annoying, and the whole neighborhood hates his guts, but at least he's a good protector.
- Bud: Gee, Mom, that's just what you say about Dad.
- Marcy: Steve, is he really dead?
- Steve: Yes, dear.
- Marcy: How do you know?
- Steve: Well, number one - he didn't respond to any of my commands... and number two - his brains are in the begonias.
- Al: I gotta hand it to you. What a great job. That crate even feels heavy enough to have a dog in it. What'd you put in there anyway?
- Peggy: Some rocks... and your bowling ball.
- [Al starts crying]
Notes[]
Title[]
- But I Didn't Shoot The Deputy is the second line of Bob Marley's classic reggae song "I Shot the Sheriff".
Trivia[]
- Bella is never actually seen on screen.
- This is the first time the audience gets a glimpse at the Rhoades' backyard.
- This is the first time Marcy digresses when thinking about hurting someone.
- Steve mentions the incident of Al shooting Bella again in "Where's the Boss?".
- This is the first time Kelly's lack of knowledge is mentioned on the show. When Kelly states that Bud is disgusting for wanting to look at the body. Bud retorts by saying that Kelly is failing 5 classes.
- As evidenced by its production code, this was the fourth episode to be produced for the season, though it was the third episode to air.
- This episode originally aired on the same date and network when the animated cartoon Characters, The Simpsons makes their first appearance in The Tracey Ullman Show shorts with the first short "Good Night".
Cultural References[]
- Steve and Marcy's dog wasn't named after the actor Bela Lugosi as Al suggests, but after the New York feminist politician Bella Abzug who was very active in the seventies and known for her pugnacious attitude and large hats. She was a Democrat (though, Marcy mentions in later episodes that she herself is a Republican).
Music[]
- The people at the funeral hum "Amazing Grace".
Locations[]
- Bundy Residence
- Rhoades Residence
Sets[]
- Bundy Living Room/Kitchen
- Al & Peggy's Bedroom
- Rhoades' Backyard
Videos[]
External Links[]
But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy at the Internet Movie Database- But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy on Bundyology
- But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy - Illustrated Transcript on albundy.net
- #03 But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy - MWC Podcast on Horrorphilia
| Season 1 Episodes | Season 2 ► | |
| Pilot • Thinnergy • But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy • Whose Room Is It Anyway? • Have You Driven a Ford Lately? • Sixteen Years and What Do You Get? • Married... without Children • The Poker Game • Peggy Sue Got Work • Al Loses His Cherry • Nightmare on Al's Street • Where's the Boss? • Johnny Be Gone | ||