Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me (aka Kelly's Dance) is the thirteenth episode of Season 3 of the FOX sitcom Married... with Children, as well as the 48th overall episode in the series. Written by Robert Ulin and Gabrielle Topping, the episode was directed by Gerry Cohen and premiered on FOX on March 19, 1989.
Synopsis[]
After Kelly gets in trouble at school, the only way she can get out of punishment is if she joins the school's tap-dance club.
Plot[]
To be added.
Cast[]
Regular Cast[]
- Ed O'Neill as Al Bundy
- Katey Sagal as Peggy Bundy
- Christina Applegate as Kelly Bundy
- David Faustino as Bud Bundy
- Amanda Bearse as Marcy Rhoades
- David Garrison as Steve Rhoades
- Buck the dog as Buck Bundy (uncredited)
Guest Stars[]
- Bunny Summers as Mrs. Wicker
- Sandy Helberg as Mr. Wormer
- Jesse Borrego as Bruno
Quotes[]
- Al: Peg, remember the Bundy credo: When one Bundy is embarrassed, the rest of us feel better about ourselves.
- Al: [holding a pile of mismatched socks] Now look, Peg. Two months ago, I bought 20 pair of socks. Now I got 20 swinging singles with only one complete pair.
- Peg: Then wear them.
- Al: I can't! They're the socks I got married in...[pauses and then expresses his bitterness] the evil socks.
- Al: Something's going on here, Peg. Something dark, something deep, something sinister, so I know a woman's behind it! Now I called all my friends and their socks are disappearing too and their wives claim they don't know either! So level with me Peg. What is Oprah telling you to do with our socks?! [suspiciously] Or what it Geraldo?!
- Peg: Sell a shoe, Al!
- [Al, Bud and Peg are sitting on the couch, watching their neighbor, Steve, teach Kelly how to tap dance, though she seems to be miserable]
- Peg: Al, we've gotta do something! We cannot let her turn out like this!
- Al: Peg, if she doesn't tap, she's out of school, then she'll be home all day... with you. [Peg's eyes widen as she has a realization]
- Peg: And hop-shuffle-step, flat-ball-change, hahaha!
- [Kelly and Steve resume tap dance practice, with Kelly still struggling to match his dance steps]
- Peg: Oh, very good, very good! [leans closer to Bud and Al] Al, she dances like a horse. [Al and Bud both nod in agreement]
- [Al is sitting next to Principal Wicker during the dance recital]
- Principal Wicker: [with a smug smile] She's next, Bundy! Haha!
- Al: Come on, Wicker! You're not gonna make my daughter go through this, are you? Think back to when you were younger. Roaming the range with the rest of the buffalo. Scratching yourself up against a tree. Trembling to the sound of the iron horse.
- Principal Wicker: She dances or she's expelled!
- Al: [to Peggy] No charming her, Peg.
- [After Kelly and Bruno's dance, the audience is trying to recompose themselves after everyone started making out, including Principal Wicker with Al. She is then shown cuddling with Al before quickly getting up]
- Principal Wicker: Oh, ho ho, Oh, thank you! Thank you! She's our best student, you know! [turns and resumes cuddling with a mortified Al]
- Al: [sobbing, as he touches the side of his neck] She bit me on the neck, Peg! Now I'll live forever! Oh, no!
Notes[]
Title[]
- The title of this episode is a reference to the part of lyrics from the jazz standard song "I Won't Dance" by Jerome Kern.
Trivia[]
- After a 2-week break since the last episode, this episode was aired together with A Three Job, No Income Family on the same night.
- Throughout the episode, Kelly is depicted as having no interest in dance. In reality, Christina Applegate has an extensive background in dance. She was also an original member of the female dance ensemble, The Pussycat Dolls and served as a guest judge for the FOX dance competition show, So You Think You Can Dance.
- Jesse Borrego, who plays the janitor / Kelly's dance partner, Bruno, also has a background in dance. He was previously one of stars on the 1980s musical television series, Fame which showcased the lives of several students trying to make it at the New York City High School for the Performing Art.
- The series also featured fellow MWC guest star Billy Hufsey who played Zorro in "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Part 1)" and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Part 2)".
- Kelly dances to the song "Fever". Katey Sagal later covered the song for the 2017 TV remake of Dirty Dancing, in which she played the role of Vivian.
- When Al talks to Kelly about being in trouble with the principal for the bus attack, he tells her that Bundys don't do two things: "We don't eat vegetables and we don't tap!". Two episodes earlier, in "Eatin' Out", Peggy confirms that they don't vegetables when their waiter asks them if they would like vegetables with their steak and baked potato.
- Marcy reveals that Steve's mom sews his name into his underwear at their wedding, while Peggy reveals that Al's mom threw up in the dip at their wedding.
- Steve mentions that he took tap dancing and also played the accordion during his high school years.
Cultural References[]
- At the beginning of the episode, Peggy reads an article from the National Inquisitor that reads "Cher to Marry 21 Year Old Alien!"
- Cher is a singer and actress, who became known for dating men much younger than her following her divorces from Sonny Bono and Greg Allman in the 1970s. She would be referenced again in several later episodes of MWC, with Jefferson D'Arcy mentioning that he dated Cher at one point.
- She was also mentioned as marrying Steve Rhoades in the Season 5 episode "You Better Shop Around (Part 1)." However, that was just a ruse so Al could cut in front of Marcy and pay for a pack of gum. It also resulted in the Bundys winning a $1,000 shopping spree which Marcy felt belonged to her.
- One of Cher's most well known songs, "I Got You Babe" was sung by Al and Peg a few episodes earlier in "The Gypsy Cried".
- Peggy sarcastically tells Al that she traded in his socks and the family cow for some magic beans. This is a reference to the English fairy tale, Jack and the Beanstalk, in which a young boy trades the family cow for magical beans that turn into a giant sprout.
- Al asks Peggy if her and other women are hiding their husbands' socks based on the advice of talk show hosts Oprah Winfrey or Geraldo Rivera.
- Al mentions that he plans to leave Peggy and the kids and travel to Borneo an island in Southeast Asia that is politically divided up between neighboring countries Brunei, Malaysia and Indonesia.
- After boasting that she and Steve tap dance, she also mentions that Sammy Davis Jr. tap danced and says that "and he is one hep black cat!"
- Sammy Davis Jr. was an American singer, dancer, and actor, known for his involvement with the informal group of entertainers known as the Rat Pack, which also featured Frank Sinatra, who sang the MWC theme song "Love and Marriage". Davis passed away about a year after this episode originally aired.
Music[]
- The song that plays on a record when Steve tries to teach Kelly is "Anything Goes" by Cole Porter from the 1934 musical of the same name.
- The song that plays when Kelly dances with Bruno is a cover version of "Fever" by Annabella.
Locations[]
Sets[]
- Bundy Living Room/Kitchen
- High School Auditorium
Goofs[]
- When Kelly and Bruno are dancing, a close up shot of Bud is shown, watching them dance before one of the Ganaywick sisters grabs him from behind and starts to kiss him as he reels back in horror. Yet when the camera pans around the stage as they continue to dance, Bud can be clearly seen standing behind the curtain by himself, watching the performance while scratching the record, which should have affected the song if it actually was playing music at that point.
External Links[]
Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me at the Internet Movie Database- Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me on Bundyology
- Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me - Transcript on Springfield! Springfield!
- #50 Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me - MWC Podcast on Horrorphilia
