Cheese, Cues and Blood was the fourth episode of Married... with Children, also the 109th overall episode of the series. Directed by Gerry Cohen, and written by Allan Davis, the episode originally aired on the FOX network, premiering on September 29, 1991.
Synopsis[]
Al begins to suspect that Kelly is selling her body for sex (with Jefferson as her pimp) when she begins earning a lot of money. But when Al discovers that Kelly and Jefferson are betting on pool games for cash at a local pool hall, Al sells his blood to get in on it.
Storyline[]
Kelly earns a quick $1,000 at hustling pool to buy a gown for the local Miss Cheese competition, and a suspicious Al is out for blood, mistakenly thinking that Kelly is into prostitution. A suspicious Al follows Kelly one night to the competition when she goes out, dressed in a short and tight leather dress, and discovers that she's making the money by using her heretofore unknown talent for hustling pool. Al is about to yank her out of the pool hall when the local pool shark plops down $10,000 and says he can "beat any girl in the house!" Al is then out of blood when he sells his to get Kelly and manager Jefferson the money for a major pool game bet.
Recurring cast/Guest stars[]
- Cast regulars
- Amanda Bearse as Marcy D'Arcy
- Ted McGinley as Jefferson D'Arcy
- Buck the Dog as Buck Bundy
Guest starring[]
- James Paradise as Slick Stick Jackson
- David Dario as Doug
- Bert L. Cook as James
- B.T. Taylor as Adam
- Tommy Perna as Tony (as Tom Perna)
- Christian Guzek as Kid
Quotes[]
- Bud: Dad, you got a minute?
- Al: For you, Bud? Nah.
- Bud: [takes his sunglasses off and sits next to Al] I'm not Bud! How many times do I have to tell you? When the hat is on, I'm Street rapper Grandmaster B! [lifts the hat off of his head] When it's off, I'm Bud. Got it? Now, [puts the hat back on] the hat is on. Who am I?
- Al: Mommy's second little joke on me?
- Bud: [annoyed] The Grandmaster is not amused. Now listen, Dad, I need twenty bucks for a pizza. But I need you to leave it on the coffee table so I can pretend to steal it in front of the girl. [nods his head while Al gives him an odd look] 'Cause, after all, I am an outlaw.
- Al: Well, I'm sorry, Grasshopper...
- Bud: That's Grandmaster, you fool!
- Al: Gas Passer, Bass Haster, what's the difference? Alright, look, it looks like I'm gonna have to communicate with you in the language of the street.
- [Al cups his fist to his mouth, and starts to beatbox for several seconds before coming to a stop]
- Al: Yo... I'm broke! [puts his hands across his chest and gives Bud a tough guy look] Now put your little hat on sideways and "boo-boo" away!
- [Al walks into the pool hall / bar to look for Kelly. He then notices three barflies sitting nearby]
- Al: Hey, you guys. Have you seen a cute little blonde haired girl?
- Doug: Yeah, she just finished off some guy. If you want a piece of her action, go see her manager... [Al turns around and sees Jefferson, dressed in a pinstripe suit and fedora, counting a large amount of cash] That guy over there.
- [Now believing that Jefferson turned Kelly into a prostitute and is acting as her pimp, Al walks over to confront him]
- Jefferson: [turns around and smiles] Oh, hey, Al! Man, you should see your daughter hustl...
- [Al quickly seizes Jefferson by the throat and slams him down onto the pool table]
- Al: Say goodnight, Super Fly!
- Kelly: [comes back from the bathroom] Hi Daddy. What's new?
- Al: Stand back, Pumpkin! He's just about to pop and I don't teeth and eyes all over you!
- [After promising to get the wager money for Kelly, Al zombie-walks back into the bar, with gauze taped up the length of both arm and looking rathe pale]
- Al: [dazed and staggering] Let's shot pool, fatman!
- Jefferson: [concerned] Hey, Al, can I... can I get you a chair, [grabs Al's arm as he is about to fall] or a coffin or something?
- Kelly: [worried] Daddy, you look so pale.
- Al: Well, perhaps that's because I've been running all over town, selling pints of blood to nine blood banks.
- Jefferson: Al, the human body only holds eight pints.
- Al: Well, that's what they say, but the brain hides some! [starts a delusional rant while staggering towards Kelly who begins to back up] So, you see Mr. Koppel, I'm a living example of how the brain really doesn't need blood to work [looks up and talks in a high pitched tone] Oh, oh, the pretty colors, oh [in a serious tone] So I'll take that 150 and bet it again... [concerned] Hey! Everything looks like noodles in here!
- Kelly: [puts her hand on Al's shoulder] Don't worry Daddy! As God as my witness, you will have blood again.
- Al: [looking at Kelly] THANK YOU, JEFFERSON!
- [Al has his head propped up on two beer bottles]
- Jefferson: [sarcastically] Well you seem to be doing a lot better, Al. You've stopped air-guitaring "It's a Small World".
- Al: [groggy] Ah, it must be the beer. The brain doesn't need blood. Just gotta keep the brain wet. What's going on?
- Jefferson: Well, we were up 5 grand, and we could've quit, but you said "Damn a unified Germany, play on." So, now, if Kelly makes this shot, you win $10,000
- Al: [perks up] Well, seem like I do what I was knowing then, eh, white boy?! [winks and then attempts to stand up] Now, I gotta... give my pumpkin a little pep talk.
- Jefferson: Al... [follows behind Al as he staggers over to the pool table]
- Al: [groggy] Pumpkin... Owza bowza she bo.
- Kelly: [stares blankly at Al for several seconds] ...What, Daddy?
- Al: [slaps his forehead several times] Well, I was saying I'm proud of you, Pumpkin. You're succeeding. I tried to succeed, but failure was in my blood. Guess I don't have to worry about that anymore [lets out a high pitched hysterical laugh, then shakes his head]. What I'm trying to say is, that the fate of not only King Charles, but of the entire Restoration, lies on this shot... this tape will self-destruct in five seconds.
Notes[]
Title[]
- The title of this episode is a reference to the saying "Blood, sweet and tears".
Trivia[]
- As of this episode, Kelly is still the reigning Miss Weenie Tot. She had won the title in season 5's "Weenie Tot Lovers and Other Strangers".
- All of the seemingly difficult shots that Kelly made on camera actually used dead combos, which made the shots next to impossible to miss.
- Kelly-ism for this episode: "A dollar short and a week late" instead of "A day late and a dollar short".
- After Peggy arrives home and talks to Al, Bud walks in to talk to her and a woman an audience can her clearly heard yelling "Yeah, Bud!".
- Al does the Duckwalk after Kelly tells him that she won the match.
- MWC production staff member Bert L. Cook makes his acting debut in this episode as James, one of the barflies who comments on Kelly and her skills during the pool hall scenes.
- Nearly 10 years after this episode first aired, James Paradise, who played Slick Stick Jackson and Christina Applegate would appear together again on the NBC sitcom Jesse in the episode "The Dump". In that episode, he plays a man at a piano bar who get in a confrontation with Applegate's character, Jesse, as well as her co-worker and her boyfriend, after paying money to hear the pianist play show tunes.
Cultural References[]
- The opening scene shows Al watching Family Feud in which 100 people indicate a shoe salesman is the job they'd least like to have.
- Marcy mentions that Jefferson has been watching music videos by singer Madonna and she can tell that "he just wants to put on a pointy bra and vogue", likely referencing the music video for her 1990 single "Vogue".
- When Marcy mentions that Kelly could be working "...as an opening act for MC Hammer...", she is referring to the musician known for his hit "U Can't Touch This" and had been previously referenced on MWC during season 5.
- After seeing Jefferson dressed up like a pimp and counting money, Al grabs him by the throat, slams him onto the pool table and tells him "Say goodnight, Super Fly.", in reference to the 1972 blaxploitation film. Though he is mixing up the film's title with the protagonist, Youngblood Priest.
- During Al's rambling, he says out loud "This tape will self-destruct in five seconds." in reference to a line said in the 1966 television series Mission: Impossible.
- While watching the game, Al starts singing the opening theme for the TV series Flipper.
- While waiting for Al to return, Slick Stick Jackson calls Jefferson "Action Jackson" in reference to the character, Sgt. Jericho "Action" Jackson from the 1988 action film Action Jackson.
- During Al's rant, he refers to Kelly as "Mr. Koppel" in reference to former Nightline newsanchor, Ted Koppel.
- Al previously mentioned that he watched Ted Koppel in the season 2 episode, "Father Lode".
- Jefferson mentions that Al played "It's a Small World" on air guitar during the match.
- Jefferson mentions that Al said "Damn a unified Germany" and told Kelly to play on when they could have stopped at $5,000. At the time the episode aired, the European country of Germany had reunified in 1990, as it had been divided into East Germany and West Germany prior to reunification.
Locations[]
- Bundy Residence
- Pool Hall
Sets[]
- Bundy Living Room / Kitchen
- Pool Hall / Bar
Goofs[]
- When Al grabs Jefferson and slams him onto the pool table, Jefferson's hat falls off. After Kelly explains that it was her idea to hustle pool, the camera cuts back to Al and Jefferson, who is now wearing his hat.
- When Al slams Jefferson onto the pool table, there is a purple pool ball in the middle of the table. When the camera cuts back to Al and Jefferson, the original ball disappears and an orange ball is now near Jefferson's hand. Finally, when Jefferson tries to get up before Al throws a ball on his head, the orange ball disappeared and a red ball is now on the table close to the middle of the table again.
- When Al finds out that Kelly is at the pool hall, he walks over to the front door at the Bundy residence and rips it off its hinges. After the door is gone, through the front window you can see a duplicate front door laying in the garage.
External Links[]
Cheese, Cues and Blood at the Internet Movie Database- Cheese, Cues and Blood on Bundyology
- Cheese, Cues and Blood - Transcript on Springfield! Springfield!
- #109 Cheese, Cues and Blood - MWC Podcast on Horrorphilia
