Crimes Against Obesity is the 9th episode of season 11 of Married... with Children and the 247th overall series episode. Directed by Amanda Bearse and written by Russell Marcus, it premiered on FOX-TV on December 29, 1996.
Synopsis[]
On his birthday, when Al insults a fat woman on the way to the Jiggly Room, he is put on trial in the shoe store by a group of fat women who accuse him of being prejudiced against the obese. Meanwhile, Bud and Kelly attempt to tint the Dodge's windows as a birthday present to Al. Peggy bakes him a cake and eats it.
Plot Summary[]
Today is Al's birthday and he goes over his cardinal rules with his family: his kids, Kelly and Bud, are to leave him alone and Peggy isn't allowed to have sex with him. This is followed by his kids putting up tinted sheets on his dodge. He goes to work with Jefferson after having a great breakfast at the Jiggly Room courtesy of a birthday coupon. Griff presents him a lunchtime coupon at the Jiggly Room, and the three head out. As they are about to leave, a fat woman named Shirley walks in and demands her money back because her shoes fell apart after one day. Al insults her weight once again, calling her a giant seal. She leaves insulted, while he and his friends heads off to the Jiggly room.
A few hours later, Al and Griff return to the store. After revealing that he has a date and wants to get ready, Al tells Griff that he can go ahead and leave early. As Al waits for closing time, Shirley returns. This time, she reveals that she is an activist and has had enough of Al's treatment towards fat women. She then brings in an army of fat women that he insulted over the years as they had shopped at Gary's. The group put Al on trial for excessive crimes against obesity, with his insults to their weight. Can he survive long enough against them to use his coupons to places he wants to go and use them? Or will Al be force to endure their punishment they plan for him?
Peggy eventually shows up at the shoe store looking for Al who excitedly calls her up to the stand to defend him. However, she blabs about Al's dislike of plus size women until one of the women tears up another of Al's coupons, causing her to snap and insult them as well. Al is found guilty of his crimes and is about to be given a lapdance by the woman serving as a bodyguard until he breaks down. Al lies to the women and claims that he was once overweight himself as a teenager, being insulted and bullied by his own parents because of it; that is why he takes it out on the women. Moved, the judge clears all charges and plans to announce that Gary's is a store friendly to the obese. As the women leave, Al reveals his demeanor hasn't changed as he shouts another insult, locks the door, and makes love to Peg in the shoe store.
Meanwhile, Kelly accidentally puts the tinted sheet on Bud's face, not realizing the window had to be up first. After failed attempts to remove the tint, Kelly knocks out a panicked Bud with a hammer and accidentally breaks Al's window. She also panics until she decides to frame Bud by putting the hammer in his hand.
Back at home, Al smiles and says he has had a good birthday, grateful that his children tinted the car. It's revealed that Bud stole a window from Marcy's Mercedes, replacing it on Al's car before he got home. Al is touched by the gift - until he sits down on the broken glass in his car.
Recurring Cast/Regulars[]
Guest Stars[]
- Diana Bellamy as Shirley
- Cassi Davis as Patty
- Danica Sheridan as Matilda
- Jennifer Echols as Gwen
- Helen Siff as Leonna
- Kelly Goodman as Barbara
- Nicole Nagorsky as Penelope
- Winfried Freedman as Enid (uncredited; archive footage)
- Hill Harper as Aaron Mitchell (uncredited; archive footage)
Quotes[]
- [As Al, Griff, and Jefferson are exiting Gary's Shoes to have lunch at The Jiggly Room, they are confronted by an upset customer]
- Shirley: Where do you think you're going?! Aren't you open?!
- Al: Sorry, ma'am, but unlike your mouth, we occasionally close.
- Shirley: I want my money back! [pulls out a red pump with the heel completely destroyed] These shoes fell apart after one day and I wanna know why.
- Griff: [examines the shoe] Well, you see, ma'am, this is a pliant heel with a cork filling.
- Al: Whereas you are a giant seal with a pork filling.
- Shirley: You haven't heard the last of this! What goes around, comes around!
- Al: Well, considering your orbit, looks like I have about 10 more years.
- [During the trial, Peg arrives at the store and notices Al tied up and the obese women sitting there]
- Al: Peg, Peg, tell them about the time I let your mother come live with us.
- Peg: Mm, I'll take care of this. [takes the stand] You can't believe how rude he was to her!
- Shirley: So, she's big-boned as well.
- Peg: You know, inside her there's a thin woman just dying to get out. [the rest of the women nod and agree]
- Shirley: We all say that.
- Peg: No, there really is. Last Thanksgiving, she ate my Aunt Edna! I told her not to stand so close to the pies.
- Matilda: [nodding] That happens.
- [Patty looks at Matilda with a concerned look]
- Gwen: [nodding] I lost a kindergarten class that way.
- [Patty quickly turns to Gwen with an even more concerned look]
- Al: [looks directly into the camera, after a pause] ...And *I'M* on trial.
Notes[]
Title[]
- The episode title is inspired by the legal expression "Crimes Against Humanity" and the medical condition, Obesity.
Trivia[]
- Marcy does not appear in this episode, although the character is heard off-screen.
- Shirley, the first fat woman customer in the episode, was the first fat woman customer in the entire series.
- Several clips from past episodes of MWC are shown when Matilda takes the stand and later when Al tries to convince the women he doesn't say mean things all the time:
- "A Shoe Room with a View" - Matilda recounts the time that she went to Gary's and Al insulted her. After mentioning that her feet might have gotten bigger from all the aerobics she has been doing at Gary's Aerobics Studio, he suggests that she might have also fallen on her butt a few times as well, inferring it got bigger the same way. As she gets up and says how dare he say that to her face, he replies "Well, I'd say it behind your back, but my car's only got half a tank of gas!".
- "Honey, I Blew Up Myself" - After Enid says that she doesn't like the shade of blue on the shoe Al struggled to put on her foot, he then suggests putting her in front of a mirror and strangling her until she reaches the particular shade of blue that she likes and says “moo” to stop when she does.
- "Nooner or Later" - As Penelope insults Al for getting the wrong shade of pink, he tells her "A thousand pardons, my little carbuncle". She then reminds Al that with his attitude, he'll be working there for the rest of his life. He tells her to look next to her, where her mother, Leonna, is seating and tells her that'll be her future.
- "Nooner or Later" - Al and Dexter attempt to put shoes on Barbara. Al then asks Dexter to grab a tranquilizer gun to tag and release her.
- "Pilot" - Al insults Shirley as her son Arnold demands to have a balloon and points out that he already has one with his mom.
- This is one of the few episodes where the fourth wall is broken. In this case, Al breaks the fourth wall by looking directly into the camera and saying "And I'm on trial?!", after Gwen reveals that she lost an entire kindergarten class due to her hunger.
Cultural References[]
- Peggy mentions the oven cleaning product, Easy-Off, as something she used to clean Kelly's nursery.
- Al mentions that one of his birthday coupons is for the diner-style restaurant chain IHOP.
- Peggy reveals that Al liked "that big mom from 'What's Happening!!' ", referring to the 1970s sitcom and the character, Mabel "Mama" Thomas.
- As Shirley says that she is about to announce her verdict, Al stops her and addresses her as "Judge Cheeto", in reference to Judge Lance Ito, who became known to the American public for presiding over the murder trial of O.J. Simpson from 1994 to 1995 and Cheetos, a popular brand of crunchy corn-cheese puff snack food.
Music[]
- Jefferson sings "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" as he, Griff and Al head out to the Jiggly Room for lunch.
- Al sings a variation of the song called "For I'm a Jolly Good Fellow" to himself as he comes downstairs for breakfast.
Locations[]
Sets[]
- Bundy Living Room / Kitchen
- Bundy Garage
- Gary's Shoes Seating Area / Register
Goofs[]
- After Kelly knocks Bud unconscious and props him up against the Dodge, she puts the hammer in his hand. Despite being unconscious, Bud clearly grabs the hammer that Kelly tries to put into his hand and continues to hold onto it.