- For other characters with the name "Crystal" see Crystal
Crystal is an attractive blonde who stops by Gary's Shoes & Accessories for Today's Woman and flirts with Al to get change for a dollar. She appeared on Married... with Children in the Season 3 (1988/89) episode, "The Bald and the Beautiful".
She is played by actress Therese Kablan.
Background[]
As Al kneels down and organizes several shoe boxes, Crystal and her friend Amber stop by. Without seeing or hearing them, he lifts his head up with a smile on his face and says "A sea breeze". Al then turns and acknowledges the two, noting that they're not fat and don't have an attitude like his normal customers, so he believes they are not there for him.
Crystal tells him that they stopped by to see if they could get some change for a dollar, as some store in the mall won't give it unless a customer makes a purchase beforehand. With a smile on his face, he agrees to do so, saying that the "no change" rule only applies to those who are homely and not as attractive as the two women in front of him. She then smiles and asks if Al had previously played for the Chicago Bears. Seeing an opportunity, he decides to says yes, causing her to pile on the flirtation, and tell him that he has "the rugged good looks of an athlete in his prime!"
Al continues to be amused and blames his "bum knee" as to why he no longer plays or appears on the box of Wheaties cereal. He then offer to get them the change while pretending to be suffering from knee pain. While Al tends to the register, Amber and Crystal walk over and look at some shoes on display. Amber then asks if Crystal really did see him play football. Crystal tells that she never actually did and that simply has a soft spot in her heart for men losing their hair. Overhearing them, Al suddenly becomes disgusted with them for lying. Amber continues on and asks if she would then sleep with a bald man, which cause Crystal to be disgusted at the very notion.
With a different tone in his voice, the now upset Al clears his throat to get the ladies' attention and gives Crystal the change in a rather cold manner. As the ladies leave, Crystal turns and says "Thanks, handsome!", to which Al bitterly responds, "Yeah, right". As Al drops down to see how much he is balding on a floor mirror, Steve Rhoades walks in with a grin on his face while waving to someone offscreen. He then tells Al that he is feeling better after two girls he passed by thought he was a football player.
Steve tells Al that he had stopped by the pharmacy for hair loss medication, but minoxidil required a prescription, so he had to settle on an over-the-counter product called Dr. Fur. Seeing Steve try it on his scrap, Al leans in and immediately notices that it smells like dog food. He then offers Al to try some of it on his head, but he quickly declines. Just then, the two men look out at the mall pathway and see Crystal and Amber walking and rubbing the hair of a man with lots of hair. Upon seeing what they're missing out on, Al quickly lowers his head in front of Steve, implying that he wants Dr. Fur on his head now.
Trivia[]
- Therese Kablan, who plays Crystal, also appeared on the MWC spin-off, Top of the Heap as Lotus in the episode, "Stocks and Bondages".