Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics is the second episode of season 4 of Married...With Children, also the 59th overall series episode. The episode originally aired on FOX on September 3, 1989. Directed by Gerry Cohen, the episode was written by Katherine Green.
Synopsis[]
Peggy wins the chance to exercise with Jim Jupiter, a local aerobics instructor with his own TV show, for two weeks, but she ends up killing Jim by introducing him to the world of smoking, eating junk food, and watching TV.
Storyline[]
Peg wins a two week visit from a certain Jim Jupiter (Tom Lahm), the "healthiest man in Chicago," which soon turns into a test of wills between Peg and the TV aerobics instructor, who eventually succumbs to Peggy's lazy lifestyle of smoking and eating junk food. When Jim Jupiter literally drops dead after a workout on his local TV show, Peg surprisingly begins to suffer from a rare attack of guilt.
Recurring cast/Guest stars[]
Regulars[]
- Amanda Bearse as Marcy Rhoades
- David Garrison as Steve Rhoades
- Buck the Dog as Buck Bundy
Guest starring[]
Quotes[]
- [Al is reading from a newspaper about Jim Jupiter's death with the headline 'Healthiest Man in Chicago Drops Dead' ]
- Al: "Blood sugar level enough to kill three horses. Cholesterol level high enough to dam the mighty Mississippi." That's writing!
- Peg: Oh, its my fault, Al. I did it. I killed the healthiest man in Chicago.
- Al: Well you've slowly been killing me and you don't seem to care.
- Peg: Yeah, you're different. You've been as good as dead for years.
- [Peg is sitting next to Jim Jupiter on the couch, shamelessly flirting with him by stroking his biceps, while he appears to be unaware of it]
- Peg: Ah, OK, Jim, Bend me, shape me, any way you want me!
- Jim: Well you've got a good healthy attitude about exercise! I guess we can start with some warmups [moves the coffee table aside] Get down on all fours!
- [Peg shrugs and stares at him for several seconds with a seductive smile on her face, believing that he wants her in a sexual position]
- Peg: [grinning] Ruff!
- [Peg quickly drops down on all fours. Jim walks over and stands directly over her to fix her form, just before Al comes home and sees them]
- Al: Hi Peg. [walks towards Peg and leans over to talk to her] How was your day?
- Peg: [nervously] Looking up? Uh, Al, meet Jim.
- Jim: [stands up and extends his hand to Al] I'm Jim Jupiter. The healthiest man in Chicago!
- Al: [ignoring Jim's hand] Then you should heal quick when I pull your spine through your mouth.
- Peg: OK, let's clear up a few misconceptions. There are two things Peggy Bundy doesn't do. Number one: cook, clean, sew, vacuum, iron and parent. And number two: exercise.
- Jim: Well, Jim Jupiter loves a challenge.
- Peg: [defiantly] Bonbon!
- Jim: [moves in closer] I'm here to change your whole life, Peggy Bundy.
- Peg: [defiantly] Bonbon!
- Jim: [sits next to Peg on the floor] Mrs. Bundy, you're a strong woman, but I'm the healthiest man in Chicago. I can see this week is going to be a test of wills...
- [six days later, a now lethargic Jim is slouching on the couch, with a protruding belly and sitting next to Peg, who is eating bonbons and smoking]
- Jim: Bonbon! [Peggy passes him the box and he takes one] I like strawberry the best, don't you?
- Peg: Actually, the mocha are my...
- Jim: [interrupting] Shh! Oprah's on.
- Peg: [smiling] Oh!
- [Jim takes a few more bonbons and crams them in his mouth as they happily watch Oprah together]
- [After Peg breaks down in tears in her failed attempt to make the family eat healthier, Al decides to have a family meeting]
- Al: Now, Peg, I know you think you're responsible for killing Jim. And yet you have no guilt of squashing the life out of me, but that's another meeting. Anyway, what I'm saying is, you didn't kill Jim. Good health killed Jim. See, he purified his body so completely, that when finally called on to do so, he couldn't handle the grease and sugar and toxic waste that we call food. He rendered himself extinct. See, healthy people are like dinosaurs. They're not fit to survive. Jim's body couldn't the burgers and bonbons and pastry suckings like real Americans. You see, Peg, WE are the truly strong.
- Peg: You really think so, Al?
- Al: Absolutely! See that cockroach over there?.
- Peg: [points towards the television set] That one?!
- Al: [points towards the same area] No, that one... Well, any one of them. You don't see them carrying off a can of wheat germ, do ya?
- Kelly: "Gherm" , Dad.
- Al: Thank you, pumpkin. [Kelly smiles and pats him on the leg] So, Peg, lets all follow the example of our friend, the cockroach. They were here before man, They'll be here after man. And you know why? They eat crap! And I say anything that's good enough for the cockroach is good enough for my family!
Notes[]
Title[]
- The title for this episode is a reference to the 1982 film Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid.
Trivia[]
- The episode ends with the following message - "This show is dedicated to our brother the mighty cockroach. Let him show us the way."
- Upon winning, Peggy mentions how happy she is to Al. He then tells her, "Uh, Peg, I know you never asked for my permission when we got married or when you conceived the children, but if you think that fruit loop is staying in my house...", implying that the kids were not planned and that Jim is gay.
- Al's line was edited out of the Sony DVD release (as they had started to use the syndicated version of episodes from season 4 onward due to licensing issues with "Love and Marriage"), but remains intact on the Mill Creek DVD version.
- Jim Jupiter's logo pictures the planet Saturn.
- The names of Jupiter’s “girlfriends” on his show, Lola & Bunny, would become the name of the Loony Tunes character Lola Bunny 7 years later in the film Space Jam.
- The shirt that Bud wears when he meets Jim is the same one he wears in the opening credits for season 4.
- The red top that Kelly wears in the later half of the episode is the same one she wears during the opening credits for season 4.
- Steve mentions that he played the Sousaphone in high school.
- It is revealed that Marcy won a "Woman in Banking" award.
Cultural References[]
- After seeing Jim on television, Al jokes that Jim is probably going to "dash off to a Judy Garland concert", in reference to the actress and singer and implying that Jim is gay, due to her popularity in the gay community.
- Steve sings "A Wand'ring Minstrel, I" and "For He's Going to Marry Yum Yum", both from Act I of the operetta The Mikado by Gilbert and Sullivan.
- Peggy quotes the song "Bend Me Shape Me" by The American Breed when she starts to touch Jim and says "Bend me, shape me, any way you want me"
- Peggy and Jim watch The Oprah Winfrey Show near the end of his week-long stay.
Music[]
- Steve sings "A Wand'ring Minstrel, I" from the operetta The Mikado when he stops by the Bundy residence to find Marcy.
- Steve sings "For He's Going to Marry Yum Yum" from the operetta The Mikado when he invites Marcy to join him to watch The Mikado.
- Steve later sings a minor variation of it "For We're Going to Eat, Yum Yum" after he and Al decided to go out and eat pizza while Marcy and Peggy work out.
Locations[]
- Bundy Residence
- Television Studio
Set[]
- Bundy Living Room / Kitchen
- The Jim Jupiter Show set
External Links[]
Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics at the Internet Movie Database- Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics on Bundyology
- Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics - First Draft Script on albundy.net
- Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics - Transcript on albundy.net
- #60 Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics - MWC Podcast on Horrorphilia
