Dial B for Virgin is the 190th overall series episode of Married... with Children also the 7th episode of Season 9 of the series. Directed by Amanda Bearse and written by Wayne Kline, the episode originally aired on FOX-TV on October 16, 1994.
Synopsis[]
Bud's community service assignment for college is the one he is least suited for: consulting virgins on the brink of temptation, while he has to wrestle with temptation himself when he has to go to one's house to talk her out of it. Meanwhile, Al and Peggy go to the video store to find a movie they both can watch together.
Storyline[]
As part of a school project, Bud is put in charge of the Virgin Hotline, a service catering to virgins who feel tempted to have sex before they're ready. He ends up at a virgin's house to talk her out of sex, gets turned on by her and sleeps with her mom. Meanwhile, Al and Peg have problems deciding what movie to rent at the video store, and Al runs into Marcy in the adult section, where she claims she intends to erase the movies she's renting and then return them. One of the movies prominently displayed near the front counter is Dutch, which is being given away as a freebie.
Recurring Cast/Regulars[]
- Amanda Bearse as Marcy D'Arcy
- Ted McGinley as Jefferson D'Arcy
- Buck the Dog as Buck Bundy
Guest starring[]
- Monica Lacy as Esther (as Monica Creel)
- Beverly Archer as Miss Hardaway
- Rhonda Aldrich as Judy
- Bodhi Elfman as Clerk (as Bodhi Pine Elfman)
- Phil Lodwick as Security Guard
- Gita Isak as Video Store Customer (uncredited)
Quotes[]
- [Bud is manning the one telephone line at the Virgin Hotline call center]
- Bud: Hello, you're on the Virgin Hotline. This is your counselor, eh... Eugene.
- Kelly: [on the phone] Hi, my name is Isis J. Blowupdoll, and my boyfriend, Bud, hasn't been able to keep his hands off me ever since I came out of the box. Now, should I try to stay firm or just explode and go to pieces?
- Bud: Yeah, very funny, Kel, but don't let me keep you. I'm sure the trucker paid for the WHOLE hour.
- Bud: [picks up phone] Virgin Hotline.
- Kelly:[on the phone, in a deep voice] Hi, this is Buck. I'm wearing nothing but my fur. I miss you, Bud. I miss our special times together [panting].
- Bud: [frustrated] Kelly, Kelly, please!
- Kelly: [singing] I love you truly, woof woof woof woof woof!
- Al: Ah, here are the classics. Schindler's Lust. Booty and the Beast. And my favorite, Forrest Hump.
- Al: Oh now wait, Peg! This could be good. Big 'Uns magazine guide gives this two things up.
- [Bud has arrived at Esther's house and is sitting one side of the couch, while Esther is on the other end]
- Bud: So... a virgin, huh?
- Esther: I just can't tell you how tough it is today for a woman to maintain her chastity. Every single girl I know is just preoccupied with sex. They'll have it with anyone, anywhere, anytime.
- Bud: [after a few moments of stunned silence] Really? [opens up the Virgin Hotline handbook and prepares to write down something] Well, if you just give me their names, their photos, and their phone numbers, I'll get to the bottom of them... I mean... I mean "of it", the bottom of it.
- Esther: No! Bud, [moves closer to him] please don't leave before my mother gets home. If I take my eyes off you, I know I'll get all horny again.
- Bud: [drily] I'm glad to be of service.
- Esther: Can I get you something to drink?
- Bud: You got anything, uh... [looks down her blouse] fresh-squeezed?
- Esther: I'll see. [gets up and walks over to the mini bar] I'm real sorry to drag you out on a Friday night like this, but I can't tell you how much I appreciate an organization like yours, Bud. [pulls down two cocktail glasses] I don't understand what's wrong with the world. [turns to face Bud] Everywhere you look, temptation!
- [the camera zooms in on Esther's butt as she bends over to get something from the mini-fridge, giving Bud a tempting view]
- Bud: [staring at Esther's butt for a moment before closing his eyes] Zima guy, Zima guy. No, no, [quickly looks over at Esther before closing his eyes again] I mean, I mean, I mean, Roseanne, Roseanne.
Notes[]
Title[]
- The title of the episode is a spoof of the Alfred Hitchcock thriller film, Dial M for Murder.
Trivia[]
- Al and Peggy revealed that they had watched Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid at a drive-in theater back when they were dating in high school.
Cultural References[]
- After Kelly tells Al the phone number for the Virgin Hotline, Bud calls Kelly and Al "Gomer and...Pyles". This in reference to the fictional character Gomer Pyle from The Andy Griffith Show and its spin-off, Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C.. The name is usually associated with someone who is dumb and slow.
- The character has been mentioned and/or referenced in several past episodes of MWC.
- At the beginning of the episode, Al is disappointed that all the channels that he has are showing the NBC series, Wings. Wings was a popular NBC sitcom that ran from 1990 to 1997 and was created by the same team that created Cheers spinoff Frasier.
- The series has been mentioned in several past episodes of MWC as a source of disappointment for Al.
- MWC guest star Abraham Benrubi had a recurring role on the show.
- Wings, though not a direct spin-off of Cheers, was set in the same fictional universe as that show and Frasier.
- As Al defends his choice to stay home and watch cable instead of going to the video store, the television announcer mentions two films and Wings before Al changes his mind and leaves with Peggy.
- Mr. Baseball - A 1992 baseball film starring Tom Selleck as a New York Yankees 1st baseman who is traded to a Japanese baseball team and has to adjust to a new lifestyle abroad.
- King Ralph - A 1991 comedy film starring John Goodman as an American who becomes the unlikely King of the United Kingdom after an electrical accident wipes out the British Royal Family.
- Miss Hardaway tells Bud that he has to be the callers' "...cold shower during heavy Jimmy Smits reruns of 'L.A. Law'."
- L.A. Law was a NBC legal drama that ran from 1986 to 1994, while Jimmy Smits played Victor Sifuentes for the first 5 season of the show.
- At one point, Esther mentions getting excited about a Bugle Boy jeans commercial.
- Bugle Boy was a brand of men's and boys clothing, primarily focused on denim jeans. It reached its peak during the 1980s, but eventually filed for bankruptcy in 2001.
- Bud tries to keep Esther calm by telling her "Now, think of the guy from the Zima commercials". Later, he tells himself "Zima Guy! Zima Guy!" after seeing Esther bend over.
- Zima was a clear carbonated alcoholic beverage that first appeared in 1993, during the "clear craze" (competing with soda brand, Pepsi, who made a clear version of their soda called Crystal Pepsi a year earlier).
- The Zima guy, played by actor Roger Kabler, was a guy dressed in an oversized dress suit and derby hat, who would replace the "S" with "Z" in words during his talk about why Zima is different. [1][2]
- The beverage and Zima guy were often mocked for being a beverage for people who couldn't handle beer and the Zima Guy for being an unattractive hipster.
- After Bud starts thinking about the Zima Guy, he quickly changes his chant and starts saying Roseanne, Roseanne in reference to the actress / comedienne.
- Esther later gets excited at the sight of Billy from Melrose Place taking his shirt off.
- Melrose Place was a FOX primetime drama that ran from 1992 to 1999 and was part of the Beverly Hills, 90210 franchise. The show focused on the lives several young adults living in an apartment complex in West Hollywood and their romantic relationships.
- In the video store, right by the entrance is a poster for the 1991 film, Dutch along with several videocassettes of the film with a sticker that says "Free Video".
- The film starred Ed O'Neill and was a box office failure, earning less than $5 million (on a $17 million budget) and getting negative reviews from critics. As such, the "Free Video" sticker is placed over Ed O'Neill's face on the poster and cassettes.
- The film was previously mocked in the season six episode "England Show (Part 1)" when Al's foot odor causes the pilot to choke and he tells Peggy "Oh Please! They show us the movie, 'Dutch' and think that I stink?!"
- Along with Dutch, several other movie posters and VHS tape covers that can be seen or are mentioned include:
- Groundhog Day
- So I Married an Axe Murderer
- Bugsy
- Sidekicks
- Hero
- Ghostbusters II
- Cops & Robbersons
- Four Weddings and a Funeral
- Like Water for Chocolate
- Fried Green Tomatoes
- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
- At one point, Al tells Peggy that he found Dorf on Skiing. Dorf is a fictional character characterized by his diminutive height and fake Swedish accent. The character appeared in a string of sports-instructional themed videos, though Dorf on Skiing is not a real film.
- Dorf was created and played by Tim Conway who would later play Peggy's father, Ephraim Wanker during season 10 of the show.
- The first movie that Al looks at, Die Scum Sucking Pig, Die, has Ray Walston and Sherman Helmsley.
- Ray Walston was an American actor who was best known for his role as the martin in the 1960s television series, My Favorite Martin and as Mr. Hand, the history teacher in the 1982 film, Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
- Sherman Hemsley was an American actor who was best known for his role as George Jefferson in the television series, The Jeffersons. The series itself was referenced on MWC several times, while audio of Hemsley as George Jefferson is heard in the episode, "Dances with Weezie".
- When Peggy disapproves of Al's movie choice, Diesel head, he tells her "Like Emilio Estevez would make a bad movie!"
- Emilio Estevez is an American actor and director. He acted alongside his brother Charlie Sheen and father Martin Sheen.
- Al's line is likely referencing Estevez's career beginning to dwindle in the early 1990s, after appearing in several films that were considered box office flops, including Freejack, Another Stakeout, Judgement Night, and D2: The Mighty Ducks.
- The adult films that Al and the video clerk reads the titles are parodies of real films:
- Schindler's Lust - Schindler's List
- Booty and the Beast - Beauty and the Beast
- Forrest Hump - Forest Gump
- Silence of the Loins - Silence of the Lambs
- The Joy Slut Club - The Joy Luck Club
- Mrs. Assfire - Mrs. Doubfire
- Esther and Bud appear to be playing Scrabble, but the letter tiles don't have point values on them. The appearance of the tiles may have been changed to avoid copyright infringement.
Music[]
- Part of the song, "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head" by B.J. Thomas from the film, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, is heard when Kelly comes downstairs and can't find her parents.
Locations[]
- Bundy Residence
- Video Store
- Business Office
- Esther's residence
Sets[]
- Bundy Living Room/Kitchen
- Virgin Hotline Office/Call Center
- Video Store
- Esther's living room
Goofs[]
- At the beginning of the episode, Bud arrives at home and puts his grey textbook down on the coffee table, with the spine facing the camera. Throughout the rest of the scene, when Kelly and later Jefferson mock him, the textbooks keeps rotating between the original position and with the spine facing Bud on the couch when the camera cuts back to a wide shot of the Bundys on the couch.
- Al and Peggy revealed that they had watched Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid at a drive-in theater back when they were dating in high school. But, the film came out in September 1969 while Al and Peggy would have already graduated high school by then. Also, Peggy said that she still had the Dodge logo on her back from making out at the drive-in theater, but in several episodes, it is stated that Al's Dodge is from the early 1970s (between 1971 and 1973).
- The phone number of the Virgin Hotline is 1-800-ZIPP-UP. It needs one more digit to be a legitimate phone number.