Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend is a 1949 jazz song from the Broadway production of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. It was performed by Carol Channing on Broadway, but gained more fame when Marilyn Monroe performed the song for the 1953 film version of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.
On Married... with Children, it is heard in the season seven episode, "Heels on Wheels". After Al is accused of being gay by Peggy, she then suggest they go to Downtown Chicago and watch a musical production. She then begins to sing the chorus, which causes him to join in and briefly dance, before stopping and declairing that he is not gay.
Lyrics[]
The French are glad to die for love
They delight in fighting duels
But I prefer a man who lives
And gives expensive jewels
A kiss on the hand
May be quite continental
But diamonds are a girl's best friend
A kiss may be grand
But it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat
Or help you at the automat
Men grow cold
As girls grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end
But square-cut or pear-shaped
These rocks don't loose their shape
Diamonds are a girl's best friend
Tiffany's!
Cartier!
Black, Starr, Frost Gorham!
Talk to me Harry Winston
Tell me all about it!
There may come a time
When a lass needs a lawyer
But diamonds are a girl's best friend
There may come a time
When a hard-boiled employer
Thinks you're awful nice
But get that ice or else no dice
He's your guy
When stocks are high
But beware when they start to descend
It's then that those louses
Go back to their spouses
Diamonds are a girl's best friend
I've heard of affairs
That are strictly platonic
But diamonds are a girl's best friend
And I think affairs
That you must keep liaisonic
Are better bets
If little pets get big baguettes
Time rolls on
And youth is gone
And you can't straighten up when you bend
But stiff back
Or stiff knees
You stand straight at Tiffany's
Diamonds! Diamonds!
I don't mean rhinestones!
But diamonds are a girl's best friend