Chicago Shoe Exchange was the 24th and final episode of Season 11 of Married... with Children, it also being the 259th and final overall series episode. Directed by Mark K. Samuels and written by Eric Abrmas & Matthew Berry, it premiered on FOX-TV on June 9, 1997.


Al and Griff simply must have the nifty massage chair from the upscale gadget store. Since they are broke, they decide to barter their way to more relaxed muscles. Meanwhile, Kelly practices her newly learned massage techniques on Bud.

Plot SummaryEdit

Gary is restocking the shoe store, donating old shoes to Filipino orphans, who according to Al, "made them". As Al and Griff are getting corn dogs for lunch, they realize they can barter payment with shoes. This gives them an idea on getting some other stuff around the mall.

Elsewhere, Kelly gets a masseuse license. She decides to try out her new license on Bud, who has just become Delta Burke's agent and is "a bit tense". However, while Kelly is massaging Bud, she puts too much pressure onto his back. Her attempts to fix the situation result in Bud not being able to move his legs.

Al and Griff go to one of the other stores in the mall, where they discover the Swedish Ecstasy 5000, described as "almost as good as sex". However, the two can't afford the $3000 price. They try to barter for the chair with shoes, but the owner instead wants a a set of graphite golf clubs, at the sporting goods store. At the store, they arrange to get the golf clubs for 50 pairs of stiletto heels, size 12, and a push-up bra.

Meanwhile, Kelly pricks a needle (along with an arrow) into Bud to see if he has feeling in his legs, though he has none. Bud implores Kelly and Peggy to call a doctor. Jefferson soon arrives to help, boasting of his multiple experiences at massage parlors. Peggy asks the two to move Bug to the table so she can have the couch. Jefferson controls Bud's vertabrae while moving his spine clockwise to try and heal him, though Bud is soon left in pain. Jefferson moves his spine counter clockwise, which hurts just as much and leaves Bud motionless.

Al and Griff are at the mall, which is devoid of shoes after a series of trades

"To get the chair, we had to get the golf clubs. To get the golf clubs, we needed to get a push up bra. To get the push up bra, we had to get him the kayak and that apology for being in the fitting room. Now all we need to do is get this driving mower to the Gap. And Mr. Zippy the chimp to Hickory Farms."

The two are then busted by the mall cops, for violation of mall code 274, illegal bartering. Al tries to get off the hook by saying that they are all accessories (such as a barbecue grill as a foot warmer and a piano as the customer lounge - "The Shoe Room"). He barters with the mall cops with "free stuff" and Griff playing at the mall policeman's ball.

Kelly, Jefferson, and Peggy are trying to get Bud into the car to drive to the chiropractor's office at the mall, which doesn't work until they put him on top of the hood of the car. However, Kelly fails to tie him down (thinking they said to put a tie on him), as Bud tells them to slow down, as Kelly thinks he said to stop, throwing him off the hood of the car.

Griff and Al and finally gotten rid of all the items and now just have the Swedish Ecstacy 5000, until Gary calls. Retro has come back in style, meaning that she wants all the shoes back. They now have to trade everything back, including the chair. Al and Griff are at the store where they got the chair originally, where Kelly, Bud, Jefferson, and Peggy are also at. Peggy explains the cost of the chiropractor to Bud, as she then buys a titanium shower head. Kelly tells Bud that Delta Burke fired him as her agent, as decides to cheer him up by giving him a tan. Al and Griff have traded everything back, except the chair for the clubs. Al asks for the clubs back, but the owner rejects them. Al discovers Peggy at the store, as Jefferson and Kelly open the tanning booth to reveal a burnt Bud. Al comes up with an idea, moving Bud to the Swedish Ecstasy 5000 and claiming that the chair paralyzing and burning him. The owner decides to give the clubs back to Griff and Al, and the two promptly leave. Kelly tries to cool off Bud's burnt skin with a fire extinguisher.

Al and Griff run back with all the shoes, just as Gary returns to the store. She met someone on the cruise she had taken, who will pick her up at the store. While looking at herself in the mirror, she runs out after seeing Mr. Zippy.

The final scene involves Mr. Zippy, now wearing a shirt and tie like Al, giving shoes to a customer, and sitting on the chair between Al and Griff, with his hand on his pants, just like Al.

Recurring Cast/RegularsEdit

Guest StarsEdit


  • The title of this episode is a reference to the Chicago Stock Exchange
  • This episode was the last episode to be filmed and is the final episode of the series.
  • This episode was aired five weeks after "How to Marry a Moron (Part 2)", widely considered the finale episode, with this being aired out of production order.
  • This was the final new episode aired on Fox until I'll See You in Court aired on June 18, 2002.
  • The Smithstone store, where Al and Griff barter for the Swedish Ecstasy 5000 Chair is a parody of Brookstone, a store that sells various electronic gadgets, including massage chairs and are usually found inside malls.
  • With this episode, Ed O'Neill was the only cast member to appear in every episode of Married...with Children.
    • Coming in second was David Faustino who only missed two episodes.
  • Amanda Bearse does not appear in this episode
  • When Al tells Griff "Why don't you take five, Little Stevie" as he plays the piano in the shoe store, he is referring to musician Stevie Wonder.
  • The final line in the entire series from a main cast member: "That's one desperate little chimp, huh."

Links and ReferencesEdit


External LinksEdit

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