Have You Driven a Ford Lately? is the fifth episode of Season 1 of the FOX sitcom Married... with Children, as well as the 5th overall episode in the series. Written by Richard Gurman and Katherine Green, the episode was directed by Linda Day and premiered on FOX on May 3, 1987.
Al is sitting on the couch watching TV and crying. There is a box of tissues on the coffee table. While Peggy comes down the stairs, he turns the TV off and blows his nose. She asks if Al was watching "Shane" again.
Al replies by saying that it was a phone company commercial. The commercial had a father and young boy bonding while walking down a road. It then cuts to later in life where the father called his now grown kid. Al wishes that he lived far away from Bud so that he could call him and that they don't spend enough time with them. He then calls Bud downstairs to talk with him. But after asking about his current grade, Bud leaves for his friend Joey's house to watch TV. Al wants Bud to call later if he is late.
Peggy announces that she wants to go out and eat. But Al doesn't want to do so while stating that eating costs a fortune and they have other expenses such as the kids needing to go to college. After a quick moment of realization, they laugh before Al asks Peggy where she wants to go eat. But the doorbell rings and Peggy announces that she told Steve and Marcy that they would all go out and eat.
They enter and Marcy asks everybody what they feel like eating before Peggy replies that Al only likes plain food like burgers and pizza. Steve states that Al needs to live a little because he can't go through life ordering food through a clown's head. Al responds by grabbing Peggy's head, holding the mouth open, and shouting "cook some food" into it.
They decide to go eat because Al realizes that he isn't paying for it. However, a car honks and it sends Kelly running down the stairs. She announces that she has a date and says her goodbyes to Al and Peggy. Al states that he wants to meet Kelly's date, but she says no because it is Roger's policy to not meet dates. But Al wants to meet him anyway and goes outside with Steve following.
An hour later, it is clear that Steve and Al aren't back as Marcy and Peggy are sitting on the couch and Kelly is pacing back and forth behind the couch. Peggy announces that it could take a while because Steve is out there making sure that Al doesn't do anything. Soon, they return with smiles on their faces. Al tells Kelly that she can go.
Al announces to the women that they just outsmarted a teenage boy. Steve states that he and Al are the proud owners of a rusted out 65 Ford Mustang. He then defends the purchase saying that it is a piece of history having a 289 engine with dual carbs and a pony interior. They plan to restore the car and go to the garage to start stripping the rust off it. Peggy asks about them taking the women to dinner but Al states that they can't afford dinner because they bought a car. As the guys leave for the garage, Kelly enters and tells Peggy that Roger sold his car to some idiots and she will not be seen walking with a guy wearing a dog collar.
Later in the week, the boys are hard at work rebuilding the Mustang when Peggy and Marcy return from doing the grocery shopping. Though Marcy clearly hates the car to the point that he calls his dirty fingernails "Mustang Juice", Peggy credits it for uniting the boys and says that it could work to their advantage. Peggy reasons that since Al and Steve bought something without their permission, they have the right to go out and buy something without their permission even adding that it is in the bible.
There is just one problem, they can't afford to buy anything so they resolve to be mean to the boys. Peggy and Marcy get their first chance when Al and Steve enter from the garage holding a re-built carburetor. The women announce that they are bored and mean as hell. Al offers them the use of the sanders though he and Steve are the targets. Marcy then announces that they still owe them a dinner.
Peggy: That's right. We've been patient. We can't force you to go to bed with us, but we insist that you take us out to eat.
Al and Steve agree on the steak place though Steve and Marcy are vegetarian. His excuse: "I'm working on a car."
Later, it appears that they are going out to eat as Steve is sorry that he neglected Marcy. But she is happy to see Al and Steve bond. Not as happy is Kelly who is forced to stay in and babysit Bud while Peggy and Al go out with "those creepy boring people that live next door." But Kelly does treat Steve and Marcy with respect once she sees them. However, it is Bud that doesn't treat Kelly with respect as he appears on the steps with her bra and dumps tissues all over the place. Upon witnessing the "no love lost" between siblings, Steve asks Marcy if she is still on the pill.
Al and Peggy soon appear. They were late because they had to dig through the hamper to find a shirt for Al. At least Peggy did make the reservation. It is under the name of Dr. Bundy and they get a free cake since it is apparently Marcy's birthday. However the phone rings and the caller has an original ashtray for the car. Unfortunately for the women, the men have to act fast because he has another offer for that ashtray.
A lot later, the men enter with a virgin ashtray which never held a cigarette, that is until Peggy sticks hers in it. The women are understandably ticked because they had to wait in a car that was being "rocked back and forth" by grown men yelling "hubba hubba, my name is Bubba" while Marcy proclaims that it was the worst birthday she ever had. Worst yet, the extent of Al's attempt to protect the women was to throw Peggy's purse down the street.
When the men go to put the ashtray in the car, Marcy states that she wants to destroy the car, but Peggy stops her saying that cars are in their blood and that when they hear the engine, they think it is their engine. In the garage, Peggy is proven right as the stick shift gets him a sense of satisfaction.
Steve: Oh, thanks, Al. Remember, I used to have one of these babies. Oh, gee, I loved that car. Those were the days. You know, I really meant something then.
Al: You used to buy a car to have fun. Now you worry about four doors, mileage, whether or not you'll survive a head-on collision... I mean, who cares?
Steve asks if they would still look cool and Al answers yes because these things (65 Mustang) are classics and everybody looks cool in them. They can't wait to get the car finished. Steve then has a fantasy where he is cruising with Al in the Mustang, wearing sunglasses and with "Born to be Wild" playing in the background. When Steve's fantasy ends, Al has one where he is riding with two babes beside him and Steve trying to hitch a ride. When Al's fantasy ends, they toast each other with beer.
Back inside the house, Peggy and Marcy are reduced to eating a salad, but Marcy confesses that love of cars extends to women as well as men. Marcy tells a story of a guy in high school who had a black GTO but she broke up with him because he wanted to get her in the back seat of his car. Marcy reasons the break-up for the fact that It's so dirty and tawdry, but Peggy did it.
Al enters the house and announces that they got the ashtray in, but Steve is still playing with the top. Marcy decides to get him while Al receives a collect call from Albany. It is for the little horse hood ornament on the car. He decides to tell Steve with Peggy going out to the garage with him. There they find Steve and Marcy doing it in the back of the Mustang as Marcy's dress and shoes fly out of the car. After a moment, Al announces to Steve that they have the horse.
Three weeks later, it is time for the unveiling. Though Marcy is ashamed that Al caught her having sex in the back seat, Peggy is curious because she didn't see the car since they painted it. In the garage, the car is covered with a blue cloth with Steve holding a camera. The car is revealed to be clean, shiny, and almost new. They get in the car with the women in back, Al driving, and Steve riding shotgun.
However, it turns out that the car was stolen as the four arrive home with Al bruised and injured after starting a fight with a policeman. But Peggy feels that the cop might have been an impersonator. But it turns out to not only be a cop, but also an angry mob of farmers with stun guns.
Though the car was impounded, Steve says that he and Al discovered that they can have a good time together. The other three agree that they all should go to dinner, but Al leaves them outside and sits down to enjoy some TV alone.
- Ed O'Neill as Al Bundy
- Katey Sagal as Peggy Bundy
- Christina Applegate as Kelly Bundy
- David Faustino as Bud Bundy
- Amanda Bearse as Marcy Rhoades
- David Garrison as Steve Rhoades
- Steve: Come on, Al! Live a little. You can't go through your whole life ordering food through a clown's head.
- Al: Oh yeah?
- [He turns to Peg and holds her mouth open]
- Al: [shouting into Peg's mouth] Cook some food!
- Marcy: Tell me, "Steverino": did it ever occur to you that we don't need another car?
- Steve: It's not just a car, honey - it's a piece of history! A 289 with dual carbs and a pony interior!
- Marcy: Steve, where did you learn to talk like that?
- Steve: Come on, honey. After all, I was a guy before I met you.
- Bud: [calling from upstairs] Kelly, could you please bring me a tissue?
- Kelly: Get one yourself, you little zit!
- Bud: [waving the bra, smiling] Never mind. I found a whole bunch of them in your bra.
- Marcy: I never thought I could have this much hate for an inanimate object.
- Peggy: You mean Al?
- Marcy: Yeah - and that car.
- Al: Steve, I'll drive. We'll take a nice little spin out in the country. You sit and lean coolly out the window, we'll pretend these [gestures towards Peg and Marcy] are our mothers.
- Have You Driven a Ford Lately? was a slogan used by the Ford Motor Company from 1981 to 1998.
- Bud reveals that he is currently in the 5th grade.
- This episode is on Married With Children's Most Outrageous Episodes Volume 2.
- The Mustang's license plate in Al's dream is Illinois F3B 359.
- In the next episode, it is revealed that this is actually Peggy's license plate.
- In a radio interview with David Faustino, Ed O'Neill revealed that in the rehearsal when Al is lead back into the house after having been stun gunned, Michael Moye and Ron Leavitt laughed so hard they fell down on the floor of the sound stage. Michael was crying and could not breathe because he was laughing so hard.
- Al and Steve's fantasy is a reference to the 1969 biker film, "Easy Rider".
- The song that plays during Al and Steve's dream is "Born To Be Wild" by Steppenwolf.
- Bundy Living Room/Kitchen
- When Peg and Marcy are about to eat salads, Marcy is shown bringing 2 cans in "coolies" (foam used to keep cans and bottles cool) to the table. Then, as they sit and start talking, in the middle of Peg's sentence, the scene cuts and shows they are now drinking dark liquids from regular glasses.
- When Marcy puts the coolies on the table, Peggy is shown putting salad dressing on her plate, and then puts the bowl of dressing in front of her plate. When the camera angle changes and the coolies have turned into glasses, the bowl of dressing is now in front of Marcy's plate.
- Bud is in 5th grade this season (season 1) which means he should be 10 or 11, but however by season 3 he's already a high schooler with Kelly, and by the start of the 5th season he's starting 12th grade.
- As far as MWC's timeline is concerned, Bud should have been in the 7th grade in this episode while Kelly is a high school freshman. Kelly would graduate from Polk in 1990 as evidenced in the season 5 episode "We'll Follow the Sun." Bud would graduate from High School in 1992.
- Have You Driven a Ford Lately? at the Internet Movie Database
- Have You Driven a Ford Lately? on Bundyology
- Have You Driven a Ford Lately? - Illustrated Transcript on albundy.net
- #05 Have You Driven a Ford Lately? - MWC Podcast on Horrorphilia
|Season 1 Episodes||Season 2 ►|
|Pilot • Thinnergy • But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy • Whose Room Is It Anyway? • |
Have You Driven a Ford Lately? • Sixteen Years and What Do You Get? • Married... without Children •
The Poker Game • Peggy Sue Got Work • Al Loses His Cherry • Nightmare on Al's Street •
Where's the Boss? • Johnny Be Gone