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How Green Was My Apple is the 16th episode of season 8 of Married... with Children, also the 173rd overall series episode. Directed by Gerry Cohen and written by Katherine Green, it premiered on FOX-TV on February 6, 1994.

Synopsis[]

The Bundys and the D'Arcys fight over possession of an apple tree, and then everything around their house. Gary Coleman, Danny Bonaduce, and Dave Madden guest star.

Storyline[]

The Bundy's and Darcy's engage in a full-fledged, take-no-prisoners, scorched-earth feud over who has rights to the apple in the back yard. It's a bit of a moot point since Jefferson already ate it. But several pseudo-celebrities turn up in a vain effort to settle the dispute. Gary Coleman, Danny Bonaduce, and Dave Madden guest star.

Recurring Cast/Regulars[]

Guest starring[]

  • Gary Coleman as Inspector
  • Dave Madden as Manager
  • Danny Bonaduce as Surveyor
  • Joni Allen as Girl

Quotes[]

  • [Al runs into the house from the backyard while Peg is on the couch watching television]
  • Al: Peg! My apple's gone! This neighborhood is going to hell! First, the double homicide and now this! [walks over to the kitchen phone and begins dialing] I think there might be a connection! I think there is a serial harvester at work here!
  • Peg: [gets up an walks over to Al in a panic] Oh, Al, tell me you're not calling the...
  • Al: [on the phone] Police?
  • Peg: Well at least don't tell them that you're...
  • Al: Al Bundy here!
  • Peg: Ugh... [gives up and walks back to the couch]
  • Al: I'd like to report a missing apple. No, not some stupid computer, I'm talking about a fruit. I know it's not a donut, but it's important to me. [turns to Peg] They're transferring me to the Chief of Stolen Produce.
  • Jefferson: [enters the Bundy residence while eating an apple] Hey guys!
  • Al: Hello, who is this? Lt. Granny Smith? Hey, wait a second, you sound like that Officer Jalopy I talked to when I called to report the Dodge missing... Okay, that's it. I'm calling the mayor! [pauses] Uh, who is the mayor? [writes on a notepad]..."McCheese". Okay you're in trouble now, Buddy, I voted for him. [hangs up] And they say you can't fight city hall.

  • [A building code inspector has arrived after Al called him in order to get the D'Arcys' toll booth off of their property]
  • Inspector: Now, I understand that you wanted to report an illegal driveway.
  • Al: Yes, I did, inspector. Uh, that one right there [points outside] If you look carefully, you can see it's built nowhere near code. I know because I built it out of ground up women's shoes. Uhm, how much is the fine?
  • Inspector: Well since you turned yourself in, I think I'll let it go at $100.
  • Al: I see, and what if I said I made it that way just to make you look like an idiot?
  • Inspector: Then that would be $1,500.
  • Bud: [gets up and slowly walks towards the inspector] And, uh, what if we called you a moron to boot?
  • Inspector: [annoyed] $2,000.
  • Kelly: Are you sure you're not Gary Coleman from Diff'rent Strokes?
  • Inspector: No, I am not. [puts on a fake smile]
  • Kelly: Good. I hated that show.
  • Inspector: [immediately becomes upset]...$5,000!

  • [The inspector hands Al a ticket for the code violations, causing Al to raise his hand up]
  • Al: Uh, don't give it to me. Its not my driveway. See, it belongs to the people right next door but , uh, they may not let you in because the only black person they respect is Ted Danson.
  • Inspector: [gives Al a dirty look] ...What'chu talkin' bout, Bundy?!
  • [The inspector looks around and immediately realizes that he just outed himself as actor Gary Coleman]
  • Inspector: Aw, hell! Now I have to fine myself.

Notes[]

Title[]

Trivia[]

  • Al reads advice on growing and harvesting the apple from a book called Farmer Iggy's Almanac. The book was previously mentioned in season 5's "Wabbit Season" when Al begins to grow crops in the backyard.
  • Al says that there was double homicide in their neighborhood recently.
  • Al reveals that the backyard fence was actually built by Peggy in a slip shod manner.
  • The land surveyor points out that the Bundy property was originally used by the Native Americans as a landfill for rotting moccasins.
  • During the ending credits in its original airing, instead of the still frame of Al and Peggy on the couch, the scene with Jefferson and Al fighting on the ground for the apple continues. Buck eventually comes up behind them and steals the apple from them, saying "I grew it, I'll eat it!".
    • On the DVD release, it is turned into a still frame of Al and Jefferson fighting on the ground , while "Love and Marriage" plays over the credits.

Cultural References[]

  • After the police give Al the runarounds regarding his missing apple, he demands to know who the mayor of Chicago is. He is then told it is "Mayor McCheese" and Al warns the officer that he voted for McCheese. Mayor McCheese was a fictional character used in advertisements for fast food chain, McDonald's, from the early 1970s until 2003.
    • A similar joke was used in the season 5 episode, "The Godfather" when Al accidentally confuses the mayor of Chicago with Mayor McCheese after being put on hold while calling the Mayor's office. He then tells the operator that he also voted for McCheese.
    • The actual Mayor of Chicago at the time this episode was filmed was Richard M. Daley, who served from 1989 until 2011.
  • The 1970s musical sitcom, The Patridge Family is referenced when the Bundys and D'Arcys meet the land surveyor:
    • Danny Bonaduce who played the land surveyor played Danny Partridge the Partridge family's bass player/middle son. Despite denying that he is Danny Partridge, he can be seen picking up his bass guitar case as he leaves the Bundy residence following his manager telling him to hurry up for their next gig.
    • Dave Madden who played the land surveyor's manager that tells him to hurry up, played Reuben Kincaid, the band's manager, on the show.
    • The manager tells him "Come on,...get happy!" as he informs him of the gig in Pittsburgh and Al notices that they left in a psychedelic bus. This refers to the show's opening theme "C'mon, Get Happy" and the brightly colored school bus the family used for touring.
  • The 1980s sitcom, Diff'rent Strokes is referenced when Al meets with the property inspector
    • Gary Coleman, who plays the property inspector was best known for his role as Arnold Jackson on the show.
    • Despite denying that he is Gary Coleman, he gives Kelly a dirty look when she said that she hated the show and later uses a variation of his character's catchphrase, "Wha'chu talking 'bout, Bundy?!" after Al tells him about the D'Arcys and Ted Danson.
    • Coleman would later appear on MWC again in the season 10 episode, "The Joke's on Al".
  • After Gary Coleman tries to give Al the tickets for the property violations, he tells him that he needs to take it over to the D'Arcys, since it is on their property line. Al then tells him, "But they might not let you in because the only black person they respect is Ted Danson".
    • Ted Danson is an American actor who was best known at the time this episode was filmed, for his role as Sam Malone on the NBC sitcom, Cheers.
      • Coincidentally, Ed O'Neill had auditioned for the role of Sam Malone back in 1982, but lost out to Ted Danson.[1]
      • According to comedy writer Ken Levine, the auditions for Sam Malone and Diane Chambers was done in pairs with mixing and matching employed to find the best combination. Ted Danson and Shelley Long were among the first pairings.
      • To this day, it is hard to imagine Ed O'Neill and some other woman as Sam and Diane or Ted and Shelly as Al and Peggy Bundy.
    • Al's line about Ted Danson being the only black guy the D'Arcys respect is a reference to an October 1993 incident when Danson appeared in blackface and told offensive jokes at a comedy roast at the Friar's Club for his then girlfriend, actress/comedienne Whoopi Goldberg.
    • Goldberg, who is black, later defended Danson, pointing out that she was not offended, as she had written the jokes herself, with Danson's blackface meant to be a societal critique. She also noted that a roast is meant to shock and be over the top, believing that her friends and fellow comedians would have appreciated it more than the celebrities and politicians who were in attendance. Despite this, the couple would break up about a month later.
  • Bud and Kelly re-enact scenes from the FOX television shows, Martin and COPS after their cable line is cut by Jefferson.

Locations[]

Sets[]

  • Bundy Living Room / Kitchen
  • Bundy Backyard
  • D'Arcy Backyard
  • D'Arcy Bedroom

Goofs[]

  • Al cuts the D'Arcy's phone line after Jefferson cut the Bundy's cable line. But, later, when Al jacks up the house at night, Jefferson uses the telephone to call his friend for the rocket launcher.
  • There isn't enough electricity running through the "phone lines" that Al cut to electrocute Marcy, even with water as a ground.

References[]

◄ Season 7 Season 8 Episodes Season 9 ►
A Tisket, a Tasket, Can Peg Make a Basket?Hood 'n the BoyzProud to Be Your Bud
Luck of the BundysBanking on MarcyNo Chicken, No CheckTake My Wife, PleaseScared Single
NO MA'AMDances with WeezieChange for a BuckA Little Off the TopThe Worst Noel
Sofa So GoodHoney, I Blew Up MyselfHow Green Was My AppleValentine's Day Massacre
Get Outta DodgeField of ScreamsThe D'Arcy FilesNooner or LaterRide Scare
The Legend of Ironhead HaynesAssault and BatteriesAl Goes DeepKelly Knows Something
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