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How To Marry a Moron is the 23rd episode of season 11 of Married... with Children, it also being the 258th overall series episode. Directed by Sam W. Orendor and written as a teleplay by Pamela Eells & Russell Marcus from a story penned by Vince Cheung and Ron Montanio, the episode, which was the second half of a two episode story arc that was preceded by the episode titled The Desperate Half-Hour (Part 1), premiered on FOX-TV, as both episodes of the arc aired together on May 5, 1997.


Al objects to Kelly marrying an armed robber, until he discovers that he's the heir to a family fortune.

When Lonnie Tot, an armed robber, along with his then-girlfriend Starla (Tricia Cast), who is Bud's pen-pal from prison, holds the Bundys hostage with is freed from prison because it was overcrowded. He asks Al's blessing for marrying Kelly. He even has a ring. Turns out that Lonnie is one of the Tots who own Tot Industries, makers of Weenie Tots. Suddenly Lonnie is most welcome to the Bundy family.


After the police apprehend his then girlfriend Starla, who tried to hold the Bundys hostage after escaping from prison, Lonnie returns to the Bundy home to ask permission to take Kelly's hand in marriage as he pleads to Al: "Sir, l may not be the smartest man in the world or the most successful but l love your daughter and l would give my life for her!" Al, then not enamored with the seemingly honest, but dim-witted Lonnie, who's a mechanic, then sarcastically answers, "Deal!" as he then tries to strangle him! When he says, "Your father tried to strangle me!" to Kelly, she tries to save face by making up the explanation "Well, that's just how we show affection!", as he then dim-wittedly returns the favor to Al, almost strangling him!

When Al discovers that the diamond ring that Lonnie presents Kelly isn't fake, but a real cubic zirconia, he also learns that Lonnie is an heir to Earl Tot, the owner of Weenie Tots, namely, the owner's son, which makes him change his tune about the lad, as he begins to see dollar signs! However, Al's hopes are dashed when it's revealed that Lonnie, who admits to Al that he's at The Jiggly Room every Friday night, has a roving eye, as he catches him with four strippers there at The Jiggly Room as he then steals his lap dance as well as all the attention from the girls, and then later just moments before Kelly and Lonnie's wedding reception is about to begin as Lonnie, whose hormones seem to be in overdrive, tries to make a move on Marcy D'Arcy, who slaps his face!


Main cast[]

Recurring cast/Guest stars[]




  • Although the ending of the episode implies that this was the final episode of season 11, it was actual the second to last episode aired, as the next episode was aired out of order several weeks after this one.
  • Despite the ending, the episode was not intended to be the series finale of the show. Rather, it was expected that the show would do one more season with a proper send off. FOX cancelled the show while the cast was on break, citing high production costs couple with the shows declining viewership rates[1] and told the public before the cast and crew, leaving them to find out from secondhand sources.
    • Ed O'Neill mentioned that he learned about the cancellation from a newlywed couple while vacationing back home in Youngstown, Ohio. The couple were happy to meet the man who played Al Bundy but also offered their condolences after hearing about the cancellation on the radio, which surprised him, as he didn't know anything about the cancellation. He thanked the couple and ended up treating them at a bed and breakfast. He also complained that FOX didn't call him until six weeks later and at the very least, didn't give him and the cast a parting gift despite 11 years of making the show and FOX itself a success. [2]
    • Christina Applegate said that she learned of the cancellation from someone she knew who heard it from the Los Angeles based morning radio show, "The Kevin and Bean Show", stating that even the radio DJs knew about the show's cancellation before her.[3]
  • Although she does not appear on screen, Lonnie's ex-girlfriend, Starla is mentioned by name, as Bud writes to her at the beginning of the episode.
  • Rance Howard, who plays the reverend, previously appeared on MWC in the season 10 episode, "Enemies" along with his real life wife, Jean Speegle Howard, who had appeared in several previously episodes.
    • Their son, Clint Howard, also appeared on MWC as Mullen the church janitor in the season 9 episode, "And Bingo Was Her Game-O".
  • This episode premiered exactly one month after the 10th anniversary of the pilot episode.
  • After receiving Lonnie's engagement ring, Peggy runs to the kitchen and flips the switch underneath the kitchen counter to examine the diamond. Previously, in the Season 9 episode, "User Friendly", that same switch was the light switch for Buck's dog house light, after Al and his friend desperately tried to figure out what it actually did.
  • Peggy implies that the happiest day of her life involved her likely having sex with the entire football team, the Polk High Panthers. In several other episodes, such as "It's a Bundyful Life (Part 2)", Al has also mentioned that Peggy had slept with the entire football team in their high school years.
  • This one of the few times that Al is willing to admit that Kelly is promiscuous, after Bud tells his parents that Kelly hasn't been a virgin since 1979. In other words, Kelly lost her virginity at age 8.
  • Peggy mentions that she had morning sickness on her wedding day, implying that she was already pregnant with Kelly when she married Al.

Cultural References[]

  • Actor John Wayne is mentioned when Al is debating whether to inform Kelly about seeing Lonnie at The Jiggly Room. Bud tries to bribe Al to turn the other way and play a film featuring "The Duke" on a 10 foot wide projector in their living room.
    • Later, Al becomes memorized as the projector drops down and a John Wayne film plays, while noting "This is where 'The Duke' kills a whole bunch of Indians who were really asking for it!". This is a reference to many of Wayne's film, often portraying him as a cowboy fighting Indians (more commonly referred to in modern times as Native Americans) in the Western frontier.



  • Bundy Living Room / Kitchen
  • Bundy Backyard
  • The Jiggly Room Dance Stage / Seating Area


◄ Season 10 Season 11 Episodes  
TwistedChildren of the CornsKelly's Gotta HabitRequiem for a Chevyweight (Part 1)
Requiem for a Chevyweight (Part 2)A Bundy ThanksgivingThe Juggs Have Left the Building
God Help Ye Merry BundymenCrimes Against ObesityThe Stepford PegBud on the Side
Grime and PunishmentT*R*A*S*HBreaking Up Is Easy to Do (Part 1)
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do (Part 2)Breaking Up Is Easy to Do (Part 3)Live Nude Peg
A Babe in ToylandBirthday Boy ToyLez Be FriendsDamn BundysThe Desperate Half-Hour (Part 1)
How to Marry a Moron (Part 2)Chicago Shoe Exchange