Married with Children Wiki
Don't have an account?
Register
Register
Married with Children Wiki
Married with Children Wiki
1,263
pages
in: Kelly Bundy

Changes: Kellyisms

Back to page
Edit
No edit summary
Tag: Visual edit
(17 intermediate revisions by 5 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
  +
[[File:Kelly Aquarium quote.jpg|thumb|220x220px]]
 
'''Kellyisms''' are the malapropisms that are spoken by [[Kelly Bundy]] when attempting to use popular sayings, such as mottos, mantras or proverbs. However, because of her poor education and comprehension, these often are misquoted, either by a single word or entirely. It should be noted that sometimes, even when using a malapropism, Kelly still manages to get the point across, if not easily, while other times, it's just awkward and silly.
  
'''Kellyisms''' are the malapropisms that are spoken by [[Kelly Bundy]] when attempting to use popular sayings, such as mottos, mantras or proverbs. However, because of her poor education and comprehension, these often are misquoted, either by a single word or entirely. It should be noted that sometimes, even when using a malapropism, Kelly still manages to get the point across, if not easily, while other times, it's just awkward and silly.
   
Line 5: Line 6:
 
!What Kelly Said
  
!What Kelly Said
 
!What Kelly Means
  
!What Kelly Means
  +
!Episode
−
!Source
  
  +
|-
  +
|ABD
  +
|ABC
  +
|[[Episode:Kids! Wadaya Gonna Do?|5x19]]
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Adidas
  
|Adidas
 
|Adios
  
|Adios
  +
|[[Episode:One Down, Two to Go|5x10]], [[Episode:Love Conquers Al|10x12]]
−
|
  
  +
|-
  +
|Aquarium
  +
|Aquarius
  +
|[[Episode:Peggy Turns 300|4x19]]
  +
|-
  +
|Bras
  +
|Brows
  +
|[[Episode:Heels on Wheels|7x15]]
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Brazil
  
|Brazil
 
|Mentioned as a US State
  
|Mentioned as a US State
  +
|[[Episode:Just Shoe It|6x15]]
−
|
  
  +
|-
  +
|Bulgaria
  +
|Mentioned as a disease
  +
|[[Episode:It's a Bundyful Life, Parts I & II|4x11]]
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Buttshell
  
|Buttshell
 
|Nutshell
  
|Nutshell
  +
|[[Episode:25 Years and What Do You Get?|9x17]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Chinese Waiter Torture
  
|Chinese Waiter Torture
 
|Chinese Water Torture
  
|Chinese Water Torture
  +
|[[Episode:Movie Show|7x21]]
−
|
  
  +
|-
  +
|Coinkidink
  +
|Coincidence
  +
|[[Episode:T-R-A-Something-Something Spells Tramp|7x02]], [[Episode:Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anymore|7x08]]
  +
|-
  +
|Coronary-copia
  +
|Cornucopia
  +
|[[Episode:I Want My Psycho Dad (Part 1)|9x12]]
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Coyote
  
|Coyote
 
|Kyoto
  
|Kyoto
  +
|[[Episode:Dud Bowl II|10x10]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Da-ta
  
|Da-ta
 
|Ta-da
  
|Ta-da
  +
|[[Episode:Crimes Against Obesity|11x09]]
−
|
  
  +
|-
  +
|Dances with Wool
  +
|Dances with Wolves
  +
|[[Top of the Heap|TOTH]]: 1x03
  +
|-
  +
|Donald and Daffy Ducci
  +
|Donald and Daffy Duck, mixed with Verducci
  +
|[[Top of the Heap|TOTH]]: 1x05
 
|-
  
|-
−
|East Dakakota
 +
|East Dakota
 
|North/South Dakota
  
|North/South Dakota
  +
|[[Episode:Raingirl|4x21]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Electrical
  
|Electrical
 
|Electoral
  
|Electoral
  +
|[[Episode:The Chicago Wine Party|7x07]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Felines
  
|Felines
 
|Females
  
|Females
  +
|[[Episode:The Undergraduate|9x26]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
−
|fox paws
 +
|Fox paws
−
|faux pas
 +
|Faux pas
−
|{{MWC}} [[Episode:The Gas Station Show|6x23]]
 +
|[[Episode:The Gas Station Show|6x23]]
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Francis Ford Coppertop
  
|Francis Ford Coppertop
 
|Francis Ford Coppola
  
|Francis Ford Coppola
  +
|[[Episode:Pump Fiction|9x23]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Grey Mattress
  
|Grey Mattress
 
|Grey Matter
  
|Grey Matter
  +
|[[Episode:Get Outta Dodge|8x18]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|G-Spot
  
|G-Spot
 
|Ten Spot
  
|Ten Spot
  +
|[[Episode:Life's A Beach|3x21]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Hunchback
  
|Hunchback
 
|Hunch
  
|Hunch
  +
|[[Episode:Route 666 (Part II)|5x24]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Illegitimate
  
|Illegitimate
 
|Illiterate
  
|Illiterate
  +
|[[Episode:Peggy Made a Little Lamb|4x20]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Illiteral
  
|Illiteral
 
|Illiterate
  
|Illiterate
  +
|[[Episode:Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anymore|7x08]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Indonesia
  
|Indonesia
 
|Amnesia
  
|Amnesia
  +
|[[Episode:The Stepford Peg|11x10]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Inseminations
  
|Inseminations
  +
|Insinuations
−
|Influence
  
  +
|[[Episode:One Down, Two to Go|5x10]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Intersections
  
|Intersections
 
|Interjections
  
|Interjections
  +
|[[Episode:Kelly Does Hollywood, Part II|6x10]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Jolly Goodfellas
  
|Jolly Goodfellas
 
|Goodfellas
  
|Goodfellas
  +
|[[Episode:The Hood, the Bud and the Kelly (Part 2)|10x15]]
−
|
  
  +
|-
  +
|Lesbian
  +
|Thespian
  +
|[[Episode:Something Larry This Way Comes|9x20]]
 
|-
  
|-
 
|Long Island
  
|Long Island
 
|Los Angeles
  
|Los Angeles
  +
|[[Episode:Route 666 (Part I)|5x23]]
−
|
  
  +
|-
  +
|Los Angeles, the Big Apple
  +
|New York City is known as the Big Apple
  +
|[[Episode:Kelly Does Hollywood, Part II|6x10]]
  +
|-
  +
|Magnesia
  +
|Amnesia
  +
|[[Episode:You Can't Miss|7x17]]
  +
|-
  +
|Mental pause
  +
|Menopause
  +
|[[Episode:Go For the Old|7x19]]
  +
|-
  +
|Metamucil
  +
|Metaphoric
  +
|[[Episode:Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anymore|7x08]]
  +
|-
  +
|Ministers
  +
|Minerals
  +
|[[Episode:The Egg and I|6x17]]
  +
|-
  +
|Mistress
  +
|Master
  +
|[[Episode:One Down, Two to Go|5x10]]
  +
|-
  +
|Monte Cristo's revenge
  +
|Montezuma's revenge
  +
|[[Episode:Al... with Kelly|5x02]]
  +
|-
  +
|North and South Georgia
  +
|Mentioned as US States; Georgia (single state)
  +
|[[Episode:Just Shoe It|6x15]]
  +
|-
  +
|Norwegia
  +
|Norway
  +
|[[Episode:Proud to Be Your Bud|8x03]]
  +
|-
  +
|Optometrist
  +
|Optimist
  +
|[[Episode:Mr. Empty Pants|7x17]]
  +
|-
  +
|Ping and pong
  +
|Ying and yang
  +
|[[Episode:Torch Song Duet|10x25]]
  +
|-
  +
|Poke High
  +
|Polk High
  +
|[[Episode:Poke High|3x03]]
  +
|-
  +
|Probation
  +
|Prostation
  +
|[[Episode:Route 666 (Part I)|5x23]]
  +
|-
  +
|Proctology
  +
|Ecology
  +
|[[Episode:Flight of the Bumblebee|10x07]]
  +
|-
  +
|Reincarcerated
  +
|Reincarnated
  +
|[[Episode:Torch Song Duet|10x25]]
  +
|-
  +
|Rocks
  +
|Minerals
  +
|[[Episode:Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics|4x02]]
  +
|-
  +
|Spinach
  +
|Spanish
  +
|[[Episode:Al Goes to the Dogs|10x21]]
  +
|-
  +
|Stereo system
  +
|Stereotype
  +
|[[Episode:Sleepless in Chicago|9x08]]
  +
|-
  +
|Street Louis
  +
|Saint Louis
  +
|[[Episode:A Man For No Seasons|9x11]]
  +
|-
  +
|Terminus
  +
|Terminal
  +
|[[Episode:It's a Bundyful Life, Parts I & II|4x11]]
  +
|-
  +
|Testicle
  +
|Testica
  +
|[[Episode:Requiem For a Chevyweight (Part II)|11x05]]
  +
|-
  +
|Topeka!
  +
|Eureka!
  +
|[[Episode:Kelly Bounces Back|5x06]]
  +
|-
  +
|Unconscious
  +
|Confucius
  +
|[[Episode:The Undergraduate|9x26]]
  +
|-
  +
|Urethra!
  +
|Eureka!
  +
|[[Episode:Kelly Bounces Back|5x06]]
  +
|-
  +
|Vale-dictator
  +
|Valedictorian
  +
|[[Episode:Blond and Blonder|10x08]]
  +
|-
  +
|Vegetarian
  +
|Veterinarian
  +
|[[Episode:Al Goes Deep|8x25]]
  +
|-
  +
|Viola
  +
|Voilà
  +
|[[Episode:Married...With Prom Queen: The Sequel|3x18]]
  +
|-
  +
|Wallabie
  +
|Wannabe
  +
|[[Episode:Hi I.Q.|6x20]]
 
|}
  
|}
  +
 
==Statements==
  
==Statements==
 
{| class="wikitable" border="1" width="100%"
  
{| class="wikitable" border="1" width="100%"
 
!What Kelly Said
  
!What Kelly Said
 
!What Kelly Means
  
!What Kelly Means
  +
!Episode
−
!Source
  
 
|-
  
|-
  +
|As inevitable as death in Texas.
−
|Buenos Nachos
  
  +
|As inevitable as death and taxes.
−
|Buenas Noches
  
  +
|[[Episode:You Gotta Know When to Hold Them, Part I|4x16]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
−
|Down Yours
  
−
|Up Yours
  
 
|
  
|
  +
Buenos Nachos.
  +
|Buenas Noches.
  +
|[[Episode:And Baby Makes Money|5x11]]
 
|-
  
|-
  +
|B-U-N-D and sometimes Y.
−
|The Mind Wobbles
  
  +
|Combination of the spelling of Bundy and English vowels "A-E-I-O-U and sometimes Y".
−
|The Mind Boggles
  
  +
|[[Episode:Ship Happens (Part I)|9x18]]
−
|
  
 
|-
  
|-
  +
|Comme ci, comme di.
−
|The Prostitution Rests
  
  +
|Comme ci, comme ça.
−
|The Prosecution Rests
  
  +
|[[Episode:I Want My Psycho Dad (Part 1)|9x12]]
−
|
  
  +
|-
  +
|Down yours.
  +
|Up yours.
  +
|[[Episode:The Hood, the Bud and the Kelly (Part 2)|10x15]]
  +
|-
  +
|Fly like the beagle.
  +
|Fly like an eagle.
  +
|[[Episode:Heels on Wheels|7x15]]
  +
|-
  +
|I'm going to hold my breast until I turn blue.
  +
|I'm going to hold my breath until I turn blue.
  +
|[[Episode:Al Goes Deep|8x25]]
  +
|-
  +
|I'm on the edge of my feet.
  +
|I'm on the edge of my seat.
  +
|[[Episode:The Undergraduate|9x26]]
  +
|-
  +
|I'm on the horns of an enema.
  +
|I'm on the horns of a dilemma.
  +
|[[Episode:Raingirl|4x21]]
  +
|-
  +
|I think something's rotten in the state of Denver.
  +
|Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. (Shakespeare)
  +
|[[Episode:It's a Bundyful Life, Parts I & II|4x12]]
  +
|-
  +
|I wear my heart on my sleaze.
  +
|I wear my heart on my sleeve.
  +
|[[Episode:Movie Show|7x21]]
  +
|-
  +
|Is a bear catholic?
  +
|Is the Pope a Catholic?/Does a bear shit in the woods?
  +
|[[Episode:The Naked and the Dead, But Mostly the Naked|9x14]]
  +
|-
  +
|It's as easy as 1, 2, C.
  +
|It's as easy as 1, 2, 3.
  +
|[[Episode:The Agony of Defeet|4x22]]
  +
|-
  +
|It's so hot you could lay an egg on the sidewalk.
  +
|It's so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk.
  +
|[[Episode:Route 666 (Part II)|5x24]]
  +
|-
  +
|Mars to Mom.
  +
|Earth to Mom.
  +
|[[Episode:Kelly's Gotta Habit|11x03]]
  +
|-
  +
|My brain beats faster.
  +
|My heart beats faster.
  +
|[[Episode:Kids! Wadaya Gonna Do?|5x19]]
  +
|-
  +
|Objection stained.
  +
|Objection sustained.
  +
|[[Episode:Un-Alful Entry|7x20]]
  +
|-
  +
|Quoth the Raven 'Demi Moore'.
  +
|Quoth the Raven 'Nevermore'.
  +
|[[Episode:Mr. Empty Pants|7x16]]
  +
|-
  +
|Right, and the check is in my mouth.
  +
|The check is in the mail.
  +
|[[Episode:Nooner or Later|8x21]]
  +
|-
  +
|Squid pro quo.
  +
|Quid pro quo.
  +
|[[Episode:I Want My Psycho Dad (Part 2)|9x13]]
  +
|-
  +
|Strip-search me.
  +
|Search me.
  +
|[[Episode:Cheese, Cues and Blood|6x04]]
  +
|-
  +
|That is the squaw that stroke the camel's sack.
  +
|That is the straw that broke the camel's back.
  +
|[[Episode:Shoeway to Heaven|9x01]]
  +
|-
  +
|The defense breasts.
  +
|The defense rests.
  +
|[[Episode:Un-Alful Entry|7x20]]
  +
|-
  +
|The mind wobbles.
  +
|The mind boggles.
  +
|[[Episode:Kelly Does Hollywood, Part I|6x09]]
  +
|-
  +
|The prostitution rests.
  +
|The prosecution rests.
  +
|[[Episode:What Goes Around Comes Around|4x18]]
  +
|-
  +
|The quest for the holy pail.
  +
|The quest for the holy grail.
  +
|[[Episode:Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anymore|7x08]]
  +
|-
  +
|Three out of two.
  +
|Two out of three.
  +
|[[Episode:Chicago Shoe Exchange|11x24]]
  +
|-
  +
|You could've knocked me over with the weather.
  +
|You could've knocked me over with a feather.
  +
|[[Episode:The Mystery of Skull Island|6x14]]
  +
|-
  +
|Your words fall off me like water of a duck's quack.
  +
|Your words fall off me like water of a duck's back.
  +
|[[Episode:Oldies But Young 'Uns|5x17]]
 
|}
  
|}
   
Line 118: Line 369:
 
!What Kelly Said
  
!What Kelly Said
 
!What Kelly Means
  
!What Kelly Means
  +
!Episode
−
!Source
  
 
|-
  
|-
−
|As Shakespeare said, the plate's the thing
 +
|As Shakespeare said, the plate's the thing.
−
|The play's the thing, wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king
 +
|The play's the thing, wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king.
−
|{{MWC}} [[Episode:Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anymore|7x08]]
 +
|[[Episode:Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anymore|7x08]]
 
|-
  
|-
  +
|Case of rum, case of rum.
−
|E before O except before E-I-E-I-O
  
  +
|Que sera, sera (Whatever will be)
−
|I before E except after C/Old McDonald Had a Farm
  
  +
|[[Episode:The Godfather|5x13]]
−
|
  
  +
|-
  +
|E before O except before E-I-E-I-O.
  +
|A mixture of ''I before E except after C'' and the song ''Old MacDonald had a Farm, E-I-E-I-O'' as an explanation for the spelling of ''Sheos.''
  +
|[[Episode:Pump Fiction|9x23]]
  +
|-
  +
|Feet are cold, starve for pizza./
  +
Starve a pizza, eat cold feet.
  +
|Feed a cold, starve a fever.
  +
|[[Episode:Al... with Kelly|5x02]]
  +
|-
  +
|He who laughs last, laughs west.
  +
|He who laughs last laughs best.
  +
|[[Episode:Hi I.Q.|6x20]]
  +
|-
  +
|It's better to have loved and lost than never to have seen 'Lost in Space' at all.
  +
|It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
  +
|[[Episode:The Undergraduate|9x26]]
  +
|-
  +
|It turns, therefore I am.
  +
|I think, therefore I am.
  +
|[[Episode:Hi I.Q.|6x20]]
  +
|-
  +
|Make new thoughts, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is old.
  +
|Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.
  +
|[[Episode:Hi I.Q.|6x20]]
  +
|-
  +
|Mom and Dad are my relatives, therefore I am.
  +
|Combination of Einstein's theory of relativity and René Descartes' ''I think, therefore I am.''
  +
|[[Episode:Here's Lookin' at You, Kid|3x22]]
 
|-
  
|-
  +
|There, before the flippers, go I.
−
|Feed a Cold, Starve for Pizza/Starve a Pizza, Eat Cold Feet
  
  +
|There, before the grace of God, go I.
−
|Feed a Cold, Starve a Fever
  
−
|{{MWC}} [[Episode:Al...WithKelly|5x02]]
 +
|[[Episode:At the Zoo|4x10]]
 
|-
  
|-
  +
|Those who can - do, those who can't - do not.
−
|He Who Laughs Last, Laughs West
  
  +
|Those who can - do, those who can't - criticise/teach.
−
|He Who Laughs Last Laughs Best
  
−
|MWC [[Episode:Hi I.Q.|6x20]]
 +
|[[Episode:Kelly Takes a Shot|9x15]]
 
|-
  
|-
  +
|To be forewarned, is to have four arms.
−
|Make New Thoughts, but Keep the Old, One is Silver, and the Other is Old
  
  +
|Forewarned is forearmed.
−
|Make New Friends, but Keep the Old Ones, One is Silver and the Other is Gold
  
−
|MWC [[Episode:Hi I.Q.|6x20]]
 +
|[[Episode:Wabbit Season|5x08]]
 
|-
  
|-
  +
|Use a condom, go to jail.
−
|To Be Forewarned, Is To Have Four Arms
  
  +
|Use a condom, go to school.
−
|Forewarned Is Forearmed
  
−
|MWC [[Episode:Wabbit Season|5x08]]
 +
|[[Episode:She's Having My Baby (Part 1)|6x01]]
 
|}
  
|}
   
Line 149: Line 429:
 
!What Was Said
  
!What Was Said
 
!What Was Meant
  
!What Was Meant
  +
!Episode
−
!Source
  
 
|-
  
|-
 
|You have nothing to fear, but fear strikes out
  
|You have nothing to fear, but fear strikes out
 
|We have nothing to fear but fear itself
  
|We have nothing to fear but fear itself
−
|{{MWC}} [[Episode:Oldies But Young 'Uns|5x17]] (Franklin D. Roosevelt)
 +
|[[Episode:Oldies But Young 'Uns|5x17]] (Franklin D. Roosevelt)
 
|}
  
|}
 
[[Category:Kelly Bundy]]
  
[[Category:Kelly Bundy]]

Revision as of 18:54, 23 March 2018

Kelly Aquarium quote

Kellyisms are the malapropisms that are spoken by Kelly Bundy when attempting to use popular sayings, such as mottos, mantras or proverbs. However, because of her poor education and comprehension, these often are misquoted, either by a single word or entirely. It should be noted that sometimes, even when using a malapropism, Kelly still manages to get the point across, if not easily, while other times, it's just awkward and silly.

Expressions

What Kelly Said What Kelly Means Episode
ABD ABC 5x19
Adidas Adios 5x10, 10x12
Aquarium Aquarius 4x19
Bras Brows 7x15
Brazil Mentioned as a US State 6x15
Bulgaria Mentioned as a disease 4x11
Buttshell Nutshell 9x17
Chinese Waiter Torture Chinese Water Torture 7x21
Coinkidink Coincidence 7x02, 7x08
Coronary-copia Cornucopia 9x12
Coyote Kyoto 10x10
Da-ta Ta-da 11x09
Dances with Wool Dances with Wolves TOTH: 1x03
Donald and Daffy Ducci Donald and Daffy Duck, mixed with Verducci TOTH: 1x05
East Dakota North/South Dakota 4x21
Electrical Electoral 7x07
Felines Females 9x26
Fox paws Faux pas 6x23
Francis Ford Coppertop Francis Ford Coppola 9x23
Grey Mattress Grey Matter 8x18
G-Spot Ten Spot 3x21
Hunchback Hunch 5x24
Illegitimate Illiterate 4x20
Illiteral Illiterate 7x08
Indonesia Amnesia 11x10
Inseminations Insinuations 5x10
Intersections Interjections 6x10
Jolly Goodfellas Goodfellas 10x15
Lesbian Thespian 9x20
Long Island Los Angeles 5x23
Los Angeles, the Big Apple New York City is known as the Big Apple 6x10
Magnesia Amnesia 7x17
Mental pause Menopause 7x19
Metamucil Metaphoric 7x08
Ministers Minerals 6x17
Mistress Master 5x10
Monte Cristo's revenge Montezuma's revenge 5x02
North and South Georgia Mentioned as US States; Georgia (single state) 6x15
Norwegia Norway 8x03
Optometrist Optimist 7x17
Ping and pong Ying and yang 10x25
Poke High Polk High 3x03
Probation Prostation 5x23
Proctology Ecology 10x07
Reincarcerated Reincarnated 10x25
Rocks Minerals 4x02
Spinach Spanish 10x21
Stereo system Stereotype 9x08
Street Louis Saint Louis 9x11
Terminus Terminal 4x11
Testicle Testica 11x05
Topeka! Eureka! 5x06
Unconscious Confucius 9x26
Urethra! Eureka! 5x06
Vale-dictator Valedictorian 10x08
Vegetarian Veterinarian 8x25
Viola Voilà 3x18
Wallabie Wannabe 6x20

Statements

What Kelly Said What Kelly Means Episode
As inevitable as death in Texas. As inevitable as death and taxes. 4x16

Buenos Nachos.

Buenas Noches. 5x11
B-U-N-D and sometimes Y. Combination of the spelling of Bundy and English vowels "A-E-I-O-U and sometimes Y". 9x18
Comme ci, comme di. Comme ci, comme ça. 9x12
Down yours. Up yours. 10x15
Fly like the beagle. Fly like an eagle. 7x15
I'm going to hold my breast until I turn blue. I'm going to hold my breath until I turn blue. 8x25
I'm on the edge of my feet. I'm on the edge of my seat. 9x26
I'm on the horns of an enema. I'm on the horns of a dilemma. 4x21
I think something's rotten in the state of Denver. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. (Shakespeare) 4x12
I wear my heart on my sleaze. I wear my heart on my sleeve. 7x21
Is a bear catholic? Is the Pope a Catholic?/Does a bear shit in the woods? 9x14
It's as easy as 1, 2, C. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3. 4x22
It's so hot you could lay an egg on the sidewalk. It's so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk. 5x24
Mars to Mom. Earth to Mom. 11x03
My brain beats faster. My heart beats faster. 5x19
Objection stained. Objection sustained. 7x20
Quoth the Raven 'Demi Moore'. Quoth the Raven 'Nevermore'. 7x16
Right, and the check is in my mouth. The check is in the mail. 8x21
Squid pro quo. Quid pro quo. 9x13
Strip-search me. Search me. 6x04
That is the squaw that stroke the camel's sack. That is the straw that broke the camel's back. 9x01
The defense breasts. The defense rests. 7x20
The mind wobbles. The mind boggles. 6x09
The prostitution rests. The prosecution rests. 4x18
The quest for the holy pail. The quest for the holy grail. 7x08
Three out of two. Two out of three. 11x24
You could've knocked me over with the weather. You could've knocked me over with a feather. 6x14
Your words fall off me like water of a duck's quack. Your words fall off me like water of a duck's back. 5x17

Wisdom

What Kelly Said What Kelly Means Episode
As Shakespeare said, the plate's the thing. The play's the thing, wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king. 7x08
Case of rum, case of rum. Que sera, sera (Whatever will be) 5x13
E before O except before E-I-E-I-O. A mixture of I before E except after C and the song Old MacDonald had a Farm, E-I-E-I-O as an explanation for the spelling of Sheos. 9x23
Feet are cold, starve for pizza./

Starve a pizza, eat cold feet.

Feed a cold, starve a fever. 5x02
He who laughs last, laughs west. He who laughs last laughs best. 6x20
It's better to have loved and lost than never to have seen 'Lost in Space' at all. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. 9x26
It turns, therefore I am. I think, therefore I am. 6x20
Make new thoughts, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is old. Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. 6x20
Mom and Dad are my relatives, therefore I am. Combination of Einstein's theory of relativity and René Descartes' I think, therefore I am. 3x22
There, before the flippers, go I. There, before the grace of God, go I. 4x10
Those who can - do, those who can't - do not. Those who can - do, those who can't - criticise/teach. 9x15
To be forewarned, is to have four arms. Forewarned is forearmed. 5x08
Use a condom, go to jail. Use a condom, go to school. 6x01

Non-Kelly Kellyisms

What Was Said What Was Meant Episode
You have nothing to fear, but fear strikes out We have nothing to fear but fear itself 5x17 (Franklin D. Roosevelt)
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.