Kellyisms

Kellyisms are the malapropisms that are spoken by Kelly Bundy when attempting to use popular sayings, such as mottos, mantras or proverbs. However, because of her poor education and comprehension, these often are misquoted, either by a single word or entirely. It should be noted that sometimes, even when using a malapropism, Kelly still manages to get the point across, if not easily, while other times, it's just awkward and silly.

Expressions

What Kelly Said	What Kelly Means	Source
Adidas	Adios
Brazil	Mentioned as a US State
Buttshell	Nutshell
Chinese Waiter Torture	Chinese Water Torture
Coyote	Kyoto
Da-ta	Ta-da
East Dakakota	North/South Dakota
Electrical	Electoral
Felines	Females
Francis Ford Coppertop	Francis Ford Coppola
Grey Mattress	Grey Matter
G-Spot	Ten Spot
Hunchback	Hunch
Illegitimate	Illiterate
Illiteral	Illiterate
Indonesia	Amnesia
Inseminations	Influence
Intersections	Interjections
Jolly Goodfellas	Goodfellas
Long Island	Los Angeles
fox paws	faux pas	6x23

Statements

What Kelly Said	What Kelly Means	Source
Buenos Nachos	Buenas Noches
Down Yours	Up Yours
The Mind Wobbles	The Mind Boggles
The Prostitution Rests	The Prosecution Rests

Wisdom

What Kelly Said	What Kelly Means	Source
E before O except before E-I-E-I-O	I before E except after C/Old McDonald Had a Farm
Feed a Cold, Starve for Pizza/Starve a Pizza, Eat Cold Feet	Feed a Cold, Starve a Fever	5x02
He Who Laughs Last, Laughs West	He Who Laughs Last Laughs Best	6x20
Make New Thoughts, but Keep the Old, One is Silver, and the Other is Old	Make New Friends, but Keep the Old Ones, One is Silver and the Other is Gold	6x20

Non-Kelly Kellyisms

What Was Said	What Was Meant	Source
You have nothing to fear, but fear strikes out	We have nothing to fear but fear itself	5x17 (Franklin D. Roosevelt)