Looking for a Desk in All the Wrong Places is the fifth episode of Married... with Children, also the 110th overall episode of the series. Directed by Gerry Cohen, and written by Allan Davis, the episode originally aired on the FOX network, premiering on October 6, 1991.
Synopsis[]
An insane Marcy tags Peg along to find her childhood toys — including a pink desk — that were auctioned off because Jefferson did not pay for the storage unit. Meanwhile, Al, Kelly and Bud have a "We hate the baby" meeting.
Storyline[]
Peg is away helping Marcy recover her precious childhood belongings, which Jefferson abandoned in a storage locker to be auctioned off. He pocketed and gambled away the money, for which Marcy plans to make him pay in excruciating detail. Al, Kelly, and Bud hold an anti-baby meeting and makes plans for a new "Bundy World Order" that includes food, clean clothes and a huge hooter-ed oriental maid to replace the "Pegzilla" Peggy.
Recurring cast/Guest stars[]
Cast regulars[]
- Amanda Bearse as Marcy D'Arcy
- Ted McGinley as Jefferson D'Arcy
- Buck the Dog as Buck Bundy
Guest starring[]
- Robert Lesser as Bum - Edwin Johanson
- Terri Hoyos as Mrs. Garcia
- Lisa Saxton as Bathsheba
- Tonya Lawson as Salome (as Tonya Offer)
- Renee Tenison as Topsy
- Rosie Tenison as Mopsy
- Seth Dillon as Jorge Garcia (as Seth Dillion)
Quotes[]
- Peg: Now the secretary can read the minutes from our last baby meeting.
- [Kelly, who appears to be the designated minutes reader, is resting her head on the kitchen table and snores.]
- Bud: You must forgive Kel, Mom, but she might just come to life if you say: "I just got paid and I wanna get -"
- Peg: [cutting him off] That's enough. Now Bud, I'm promoting you the temporary secretary. You may read your sister's minutes.
- Bud: [sarcastically] I'm truly honored.
- [Bud takes Kelly's notepad and gets up.]
- Bud: Hail baby. [reading out loud] "I can no longer write down the insane bellowing of what used to be my mother". [becoming interested] "This baby is a curse to us all. Wait, I'm supposed to rise and give a 'hail baby'. There, I've done it. I feel cheaper than I've ever felt, and that's saying something". [smirks just as Peg reaches over to take the notepad away and smacks Kelly to wake her up]
- Al: You know what I would do if I was President?
- Jefferson: What?
- Al: I'd get me a big, empty state no one's using. You know, a state like Idaho. Then I'd get every pregnant woman in the country, I'd stick 'em into a donut truck, and I'd convoy 'em to Boise. [Jefferson lets out a laugh] And since nobody cares any about Idaho anyway, I'd change the name to 'Pregnaho'.
- [Marcy reveals to Peg that she will be using all of the baby furniture that she had for her future child]
- Marcy: [reminiscing] Oh, my desk. I used to have this little tea service, and at my desk I would hold teas for all my imaginary friends. There was Jennifer. The most popular girl in the school. [meekly] Well, she would never really be my friend, but at my desk she'd drink four or five cups of my tea. She'd have to. [bitterly] I'd make her. [cheerfully] Then there was Robert, the cutest guy in the school. Normally he'd just throw his milk in my face, but not at my desk. Ahh, I can see him now, kissing my four-year-old feet. [aggressively, with a sadistic grin] "Lick 'em, baby! Lick 'em! Lick 'em like a dog!" [calms down] Oh, the times I would have at my little desk, with my little chair, and my little pottie, where I'd shove Imaginary Jennifer's face every day. Yeah, new stuff is fine, but how can you put a price tag on memories like those?
- Peg: [chuckles uneasily] Well, I see since your pregnancy you've stopped taking your little pills, haven't you? [Marcy lowers her head in shame]
- Al: So now we've got 'Pregnaho'...
- Jefferson: Yeah...
- Al: ...and we've got 'PMSachusetts', but where we live is called 'Breast Virginia'. [they both laugh]
- [Peggy and Marcy give them upset looks from the kitchen, which causes Jefferson to suddenly stop laughing.]
- Jefferson: [sternly] That's mean, Al!
- [Peg and Marcy nod in approval before going back to their conversation]
- Al: [with a smug grin] She's got you shaking like a Frenchman in a thunderstorm.
- [Al, Bud, and Kelly have donned their black "Anti-Baby" baseball caps and commence the third weekly "Anti-Bundy Baby" meeting]
- Al: Now we may begin. [turns to Kelly] Secretary may read the minutes from our last meeting.
- Kelly: [stands up and begins reading from her notepad] "After feeding Mom into a donut coma, and setting pudding traps should she awaken, we officially booed the baby and began the meeting. Dad, my daddy, once again wept with shame at his involvement in the pregnancy".
- Al: [breaks down] I tell you, I didn't know what hit me! [lowers his head in shame]
- Kelly: [continues reading] "And then Daddy said: "I tell you, I didn't know what hit me". Bud, my brother, recited from the bible, quoting the story of Moses. He suggested we place the baby in a basket with a couple of quarters and a blanket and float it down the Ohio river verily to Cleveland". [Bud and Al stand up]
- Al, Bud, and Kelly: SET SAIL, BABY! [they make a downward and out gesture with their right arms and then do a hand clap before Al and Bud sit down while Kelly resumes reading her notes]
- Kelly: "Then we had a two-to-one vote to replace our Mom with a huge-hootered Oriental woman, who had no vocal chords, no uterus, but can fry a steak like a Texan. Then Mommy woke up and wanted to know what we were laughing at. We said Bud. He trolled up the stairs in a little huff, and the three of us laughed at him till dawn." [stops and realizes that she made a mistake] Oops, that was the beginning of our anti-Bud meeting.
Notes[]
Title[]
- The title is based on the lyric "Looking for love in all the wrong places" from the 1980 song "Lookin' for Love" by Johnny Lee.
Trivia[]
- Peggy reveals to Marcy that she broke Al three days into their marriage after he requested "three meals a day, clean clothes, and pillows".
- This is the only appearance of the "Bundy Anti-Baby Meeting", which consisted of Al, Kelly and Bud.
- Lisa Saxton, who plays Bathsheba, one of the one in Jefferson's (and later Al's) fantasy, was previously on MWC in "She's Having My Baby (Part 2)" as the vendor girl at The Paternity Ward Bar and Relocation Station.
- The ladies in Jefferson's and Al's fantasy were all in Playboy:
- Renee Tension was Playmate of the Year 1990
- Rosie Tension would later pose with her twin sister in a 2002 Playboy special
- Lisa Saxton appeared in several Playboy videos and issues in 1991
- Tonya Offer appeared in the "Book of Lingerie" in the early to mid 1990s.
- Throughout the episode, Marcy mentions her imaginary childhood friend, Jennifer, who was the popular girl that Marcy would torture during her imaginary playtime.
- She also mentions a male imaginary friend named Robert who threw milk in her face and she would then torture him by making him lick her feet like a dog.
- Peggy reveals that Marcy had been on some sort of medication for her mood, but stopped due to the pregnancy, leading to her rant about torturing Jennifer and Robert.
- In the ViacomCBS reruns, the scene where Peggy asks the bum if he needs a job before revealing that he is actually a schoolteacher is edited out.
Cultural References[]
- The store that Marcy and Jefferson go to is "The Sharper Infant", a parody on "The Sharper Image", a store that sells offbeat consumer electronics, such as air purifiers, massage devices, shower radios, camera glasses and other unique electronics.
- After Jefferson tries to con his way out of getting in trouble with Marcy for selling her storage locker, Al says to him "Goodnight, Sweet Prince". The line is taken from Act V, Scene II of the William Shakespeare tragedy, Hamlet.
- The line would gain more notoriety from its use near the end of the 1998 film The Big Lebowski as well as an online meme associated with celebrity death hoaxes.
- While trying to figure out a name for the baby, Al suggests "Piscopo", in reference to actor Joe Piscopo, which Bud and Kelly consider a low blow and cruel.
- During the "Anti-Bundy Baby Meeting", Kelly mentions that she's seen Bud with his legs in the air whenever he sees Pebbles Flintstone in a leopard mini dress, referring to the fictional character from the animated series, The Flintstones.
- In the Season 11 episode, "Kelly's Gotta Habit" Bud's client, Tina Yothers, mentions that she played Pebbles in a production of Flintstones in the Park but was upstaged by Kelly who was playing Dino, a dinosaur who served as the family's pet dog.
- After Marcy and Peg arrive home from collecting Marcy's baby items, Al informs them that he and the kids threw Jefferson in the backyard and that he was singing "Tiny Bubbles" by Don Ho to Buck.
Music[]
- The first song that Jefferson sings in his fantasy is "Lemon Tree" by Peter, Paul and Mary
- The second song that Jefferson sings is "Do You Wanna Dance" by Cliff Richards.
Locations[]
- Bundy Residence
- Chicago Back Alley
- Fantasy / Sound Stage
- Garcia Family Apartment
Sets[]
- Bundy Living Room / Kitchen
- Back Alley
- Jefferson's Fantasy / Sound Stage
- Apartment 3L
Goofs[]
- When Peg informs Bud that he will be the temporary minutes reader, Al can be seen starting to move his right hand towards his forehead. The camera immediately switches to Bud and Al's hands are resting on the table
- When reading the minutes of their "Anti-Baby Meeting", Kelly reads Bud's suggestion to "Place the baby in a basket, with a couple of quarters and a blanket, and float it down the Ohio river, verily, to Cleveland." However the Ohio river doesn't flow to, or through Cleveland, as the river creates the southern boarder of the state while the city of Cleveland is in the northern part of the state on Lake Erie.
External Links[]
Looking for a Desk in All the Wrong Places at the Internet Movie Database- Looking for a Desk in All the Wrong Places on Bundyology
- Looking for a Desk in All the Wrong Places - Transcript on albundy.net
- #110 Looking for a Desk in All the Wrong Places - MWC Podcast on Horrorphilia
