The Nine Commandments were a series of rules written by Al Bundy who credited them to Ironhead Haynes, and directed to people who "don't give a rat's ass about political correctness." The number of the commandments may have been intended to be ten, as Al Bundy cited them as such, before being informed by Jefferson D'Arcy that there were only nine. The commandments were written with flour Al had received from Ironhead Haynes, onto the guitar also give to Al by Haynes as evidence of Al's visit to him. (MWC: "The Legend of Ironhead Haynes")
Rule One: It's okay to call hooters "knockers" and sometimes "snack trays".
Rule Two: It is wrong to be French.
Rule Three: It is okay to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder.
Rule Four: Lawyers, see rule three.
Rule Five: It is ok to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes.
Rule Six: Everyone should car pool except me.
Rule Seven: Bring back the word "stewardesses".
Rule Eight: Synchronized swimming is not a sport.
Rule Nine: Mud wrestling is a sport.