Ship Happens (Part 1) is the 19th episode in Season 9 of Married... with Children, and was also the 202nd overall episode. Directed by Gerry Cohen and written by Michelle L. Wolff, the episode originally aired on FOX, premiering on February 19, 1995.
Synopsis[]
After Peggy wins a magazine contest, the Bundys and the D'Arcys go on a cruise, which turns out to be one catering to fat women by day and slim, sexy women by night. Peggy gets a bad hair-do there and stops Al from enjoying the slim, bikini-clad women. Meanwhile, Wolfman Jack (appearing as himself) stays at the Bundy house.
Storyline[]
Part one of two-episode story arc. In this particular episode, after Peg enters a magazine contest, Wolfman Jack appears at the Bundys' door telling them that they won the prize, a free Caribbean cruise. When the Bundys and the D'Arcys go on the cruise, it turns out to be a cruise which caters to fat women by day and slim, sexy women by night! Peggy gets a bad hair-do there and stops Al from enjoying the slim, bikini-clad women. On the ship, the S.S. Sea Dodge, the four, Al, Peg, Marcy and Jefferson (Bud and Kelly stay at home) are stuck in a cramped cabin in the boiler room on a ship with large women on their way to a weight loss center on a tropical isle.
Recurring Cast/Regulars[]
- Amanda Bearse as Marcy D'Arcy
- Ted McGinley as Jefferson D'Arcy
- Buck the Dog as Buck Bundy
Guest starring[]
- Wolfman Jack as Himself
- Lisa Stahl as Gretchen
- Mary Garripoli as Julie
- Yvonne de La Paix as Chubby Cruiser (uncredited0
- Kim Anderson as Party Girl (uncredited)
Quotes[]
- Bud: Mom, are you sure anybody ever wins these contests?
- Peg: Would Ed McMahon lie?
- Al: Gee, I don't know, would he drink? Would he laugh at something that's not funny? Would he tout the taste of dog food if he thought he could make a stinking buck? [walks over to the closet to hang up his jacket] Peg, I'm telling you that nobody ever, ever wins these contests!
- [suddenly, the sound of a man howling like a wolf is heard, followed by rapid knocking and scratching at the Bundy's front door. Al then opens the door to find Wolfman Jack]
- Wolfman Jack: [peaking his head through the door opening] Hi, I'm Wolfman Jack. Let me in, I'm gonna blow your mind out.
- Al: [with a confused look while pointing back and forth between the door and the family] Anybody here join a record club? Well, you know, I'm talking about 30 years ago.
- Bud: Uh, listen, Lojack.
- Wolfman Jack: That's "Wolfman... Jack".
- Bud: [sarcastically] Yeah. Yeah, much cooler. Listen, our name is "Bundy".
- Kelly: Yeah, B-U-N-D and sometimes Y.
- Peg: But, you know, I don't wanna go on a cruise by myself. Hey, Mr. Wolfman don't you think you could just bend the rules so that Al can come?
- Al: No!
- Peg: Please?
- Al: This man is unimpeachable, his character beyond reproach. He combines the best qualities of both wolf... and man.
- Peg: There's 50 bucks for you.
- Wolfman Jack: Sold. I tell you what, [holds up the tickets] I'll take this first-class ticket and I'll change it in for two economies.
- Al: [whining] Peg, I don't wanna go on a cruise! All that rocking up and down, side to side! I'll be throwing up all night! [pauses and then turns to Wolfman] And then there's the motion of the boat.
- [After the wives leave to get their hair done, Al and Jefferson hear a knock on their cabin door]
- Al: Don't answer that. That's a trap.
- Jefferson: What kind of trap?
- Al: You know, they say, "Yoo-hoo," you open the door they slap two pieces of bread around you and you're never heard from again.
- Female voice: Hello, is there anyone in there?
- Jefferson: I don't know. She sounds thin. I'm gonna open it.
- [Jefferson opens the door and is taken aback, seeing a slim, attractive blonde woman wearing workout attire and carrying a clipboard, while holding a whistle]
- Gretchen: [smiling] Hi, my name's Gretchen.
- Jefferson: Hi, my name's... [pauses] Wait a second, I can't remember my name. [turns and walks over to Al] Quick, Al, what's my name?
- Al: "Captain No-Nads".
- [At the Bundy residence, Wolfman Jack, who has not left since presenting Peggy with her prize, is sitting on the couch, watching tv and eating a sub sandwich with Bud and Kelly sitting next to next to him]
- Wolfman Jack: [to Bud] You know the trouble with rock 'n' roll today?
- Bud: Took out the bubble machine?
- Kelly: Uhm, Mr. Jack-Man it's not that we haven't enjoyed your cute little stories about things that happened even before Dick Clark was born but you've been here for a week. I mean shouldn't you be out cruising with the ho-dads or the ho-moms or whatever ho's you guys run around with?
- Wolfman Jack: You know, there's a lot more to Wolfman Jack than just, "Hi, here's your prize." You ever listen to Wolfman Jack on the radio live from Planet Hollywood?!
- [Bud leans forward and gestures to Kelly to do the same to talk to her in private]
- Bud: Look, whatever he says, just say yes.
- Kelly: [to Wolfman] Yes.
- Wolfman Jack: I also wrote a book, my autobiography. Would you like me to read you a little bit of it?
- Kelly: [reluctantly, as Bud looks over with concern] ...Yes.
- Wolfman Jack: [pulls out his book] You're the best.
Notes[]
Title[]
- The title of this episode is a reference to the idiom "Shit happens", meaning that life is unpredictable and that bad things can occur, no matter how hard one tries to avoid them.
Trivia[]
- This was the last acting role of Wolfman Jack, as he passed away about 5 months after this episode aired.
- According to the lifeboat, the name of the ship was "Sea Dodge".
- One of the party goers, the woman with short hair dancing by Al's window, is played by an uncredited Kim Anderson, who previously appeared on MWC as shoe store customer Jackie in the season 2 episode, "The Great Escape".
Cultural References[]
- After Peggy asks "Would Ed McMahon lie?", Al sarcastically asks if McMahon would drink, laugh at an unfunny joke or eat dog food to make money.
- Ed McMahon was a game show host, actor and announcer. He was best known as serving as the announcer / sidekick of talk show host Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show as well as being the host of the talent competition show, Star Search.
- As Peggy mentioned, McMahon was also a pitchman for American Family Publishers, which marketed magazine subscriptions and also ran mail in sweepstakes. They would often feature on their entries a picture of McMahon and the phrase, "You may have already won $10,000,000!"
- As Al pointed out, McMahon was known for laughing at jokes that were not even funny while on The Tonight Show and there were rumors that he would drink backstage. He was also known for endorsing various products and had financial troubles until he passed away in 2009.
- Ed McMahon was a game show host, actor and announcer. He was best known as serving as the announcer / sidekick of talk show host Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show as well as being the host of the talent competition show, Star Search.
- While looking over the magazines that arrived, he points out that one of them is Ebony and the cover mentions that Esther Rolle had moved.
- Ebony is a monthly magazine covers celebrities and topics pertaining to the African-American community.
- Esther Rolle was an American actress who was best known for her role on the 1970s sitcom, Good Times as the family matriarch, Florida Evans.
- Al compares the room he is sharing with Peggy and the D'Arcys to the novel Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Seas and Peggy to the giant squid from the story.
- After Peggy and Marcy boast about the celebrity stylist on the ship, Marcy then asks Al "Who do you think does Sandra Bernhard's hair?". He quips "Ray Charles?!".
- Sandra Bernhard is an American comedienne and actress. At the time this episode originally aired, she was one of the stars on the ABC sitcom, Roseanne.
- Ray Charles was an American songwriter, pianist and singer who was blind for most of his life.
- After Peggy mentions that the cruises entertainment will be provided by Gilbert Gottfried, Al and Jefferson are disappointed.
- Gilbert Gottfried was an American actor and comedian who was often known for his exaggerated shrill voice and crude humor. He appeared as himself in the next episode.
- Kelly complains about Wolfman Jack staying at the house and comments "it's not that we haven't enjoyed your cute little stories about things that happened even before Dick Clark was born".
- Dick Clark was an American radio and television personality, known for hosting shows such as American Bandstand and Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve. At the time this episode aired, he was also serving as a co-pitchman with Ed McMahon for American Family Publishers.
- Wolfman Jack asks the kids if they had heard him on the radio live from Planet Hollywood.
- Planet Hollywood is a chain of themed restaurants that was originally backed by several well known celebrities in the early 1990s. The Chicago location opened in 1993, but closed in 1999 and as of 2019, has only 7 locations, with only 3 within the United States.
- When Kelly complains about Wolfman Jack staying at their house, she mentions that he should be out "cruising with the ho-dads or the ho-moms or whatever ho's you guys run around with? "
- Hodad is a slang term from the 1960s that typically described a person who hung out at the beach and tried to participate in surf culture, despite not being one. It was typically used as an insult, similar to the modern term, "wannabe" or "poseur". [1]
- Ho is a slang term in urban and hip hop lexicon that is used to describe a sexually promiscuous woman and is a shortened version of the word "whore".
- Upon seeing Peggy's new hairstyle, Jefferson mentions country singer Lyle Lovett and suggest that he would like it. At the time this episode originally aired, he was about to divorce his then-wife, actress Julia Roberts.
- While being forced to stay in with Peg, he sarcastically quips that he would rather be in the room with her than the party on the deck that he compares to a Russ Meyer movie.
- Russ Meyer was an American director, writer, and producer, who was known primarily for writing and directing a series of successful sexploitation films that featured campy humor, sly satire and large-breasted women,
Locations[]
- Bundy Residence
- Cruise Ship
Sets[]
- Bundy Living Room / Kitchen
- Cruise Ship sub-sub economy class room / deck