Sixteen Years and What Do You Get? is the sixth episode of Season 1 of the FOX sitcom Married... with Children, as well as the 6th overall episode in the series. Written by Katherine Green and Richard Gurman, the episode was directed by Linda Day and premiered on FOX on May 10, 1987.
Synopsis[]
Neither Peggy nor Al can to stick to an agreement not to exchange gifts on their 16th anniversary, but Al comes home empty-handed when his credit card is rejected for being over its limit.
Plot[]
Al and Peggy come downstairs in their nightclothes expecting an anniversary breakfast as it is their 16th wedding anniversary. They try to kiss, but because neither of them brushed, they shake hands. Unfortunately, when they get to the table, nothing is cooking but Peggy thinks that Bud and Kelly are hiding and ready to surprise them.
The real surprise is that Bud and Kelly forgot to make the breakfast, but Peggy decides to make the meal. Al states that he wants some "fried eggs over easy with crisp bacon, fresh squeezed juice and toast with jam." What he gets is a box of cereal without the Tang which he wants. While Peggy is getting the Tang, Bud snaps Kelly's bra and she retaliates by pulling Bud's shirt over his head.
Peggy: Well, anyway. Happy Anniversary, dear. Can you believe it's been sixteen years?
Al: Yeah, they just flew by.
Peggy: Let's see. Now, which one's the sixteenth? I know tenth is tin, the fifteenth is crystal... What's the next one?
Al: Brimstone.
Al and Peggy discuss presents with Al asking if Peggy is going to give him another tie while Peggy wonders likewise with shoes from Al. They then decide to forget about presents because anniversaries are all about being together. Al declares that they will not make a big deal out of it because, he'll be there along with Peggy and the TV. Peggy declares that they don't need a bunch of silly presents to show that they love each other because she loves Al, but he responds "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah."
Before Al takes a shower, Peggy requests that he get a radio installed in her car. But Al says that Peggy should listen to her own voice. Unfortunately, Peggy has to do the laundry which Al charges her with using all the hot water.
Bud and Kelly stop Al and tell him that not getting a present is a bad move, "cause no matter what she says, if you don't get her a present, you're going to break her heart." But Al tells the kids that he is planning to buy one of those expensive watches she's always harping about.
When Al goes upstairs, Bud and Kelly tell Peggy about the watch. When she hears this news, she resolves to go out and get him something. She asks the kids what Al really wants. Bud responds by saying the blond down the street because of the way he bites his fist every time he drives by her house.
As the kids get ready for school, Peggy has some fun by turning on the hot water from the kitchen sink tap. Just then, the doorbell rings and Peggy answers to Steve and Marcy who offer champagne as an anniversary gift complete with their name on the label (likely Bundy.)
Steve wonders about their evening to which Peggy responds that she'll fix dinner, they'll exchange presents, and Al will watch midget wrestling. Even though the Rhoades hate wrestling, Steve wants to know when the wrestling is on so he knows how long midgets get to stay up.
Because it is a special night, Marcy suggests a caterer to do the cooking. They use a caterer for all their anniversaries, the first day they met, kissed, went out, stayed in, the first day Steve brought Marcy flowers, and the first day they talked dirty to each other. Then they make out.
Later Al heads to Embassy Jewels to purchase the watch. When he enters the store, the clerk is showing a man named Mr. Conner a nice picture frame. Al barges in and inquires about the expensive watch. It is the last one in the store. Al tells him to wrap it up and leave the price tag on while giving the clerk his credit card.
Mr. Conner doesn't like it that Al butted in. He tells him that he was there first, but so were the indians according to Al. This is because when sales people see Al, they see a big commission. But Mr. Connor refutes that by saying "each customer counts as much as the next."
The discussion turns toward the picture frame Mr. Connor is planning to give his wife for their first anniversary. Al calls the picture frame an insult because women live for presents. If Mr. Connor gives the frame to his wife, his life would be a living hell.
But Mr. Connor refutes Al's advances by saying that they agreed to save their money for more important things. To Al, there is nothing more important than anniversaries because it is between the two of them. "It is a day to show how you feel the rest of the year but don't because you are a man." Mr. Conner takes the advice to heart and purchases the watch after Al's credit card was rejected.
That night Bud is watching a French chef ice a cake while Kelly bothers the violinist. Steve and Marcy are in the living room looking at the Bundy wedding album when Peggy comes downstairs in a new dress which she purchased even though she hates it, but didn't feel like changing back into what she was wearing. Steve tells Peggy that their wedding was videotaped though Polaroids are nice.
When Al's car pulls up, Peggy tells everybody to hide and they go into the basement while she stands next to a big floral arrangement with the number 16 on it. Al enters to a greeting of Happy Anniversary with Peggy telling him that Steve and Marcy sent the floral arrangement. Al is happy as long as he doesn't have to put up with them. However, everybody else comes out of hiding to his surprise. Al is surprised because he thought the night would be no big deal. Peggy states that it was them, the kids, a few of their close friends, and the Violinist who appears out of nowhere to play a little song.
They sit on the couch while Al asks Bud if he didn't tell Peggy that he was getting her a present. Bud blames it on Kelly and says that she has to go.
Kelly wants them to open her present first, but Al is alarmed that Kelly brought a present. Of course, she wasn't going to be the only person without one. The gift in question is a picture frame which Peggy says is the perfect anniversary gift.
Next is Bud's gift which turns out to be Kelly's diary. Kelly is pissed off at the attempted gift calling Bud a thief and a Nazi Fascist psychopath. Kelly asks for it back and Peggy agrees saying that Bud had no right to take the diary, but it was a nice thought.
Then it is time for Steve and Marcy's gift. Al opens it and the gift is revealed to be a book titled "My Partner, My Wife, My Life." Al adds "My God." Then in the next breath, he thanks everybody for the presents and dismisses them even going so far as to open the door to let Steve and Marcy out of the house, but Peggy stops him.
Peggy then gives Al his present which is the set of power tools he wanted. Al then announces that it would be "tough to top this, so why try." So he wishes everybody good night, but Steve stops him and Bud tells Al to whip out that watch.
Thankfully, Al gets a distraction in the form of Luke Ventura. He announces Luke's presence and the fact that he doesn't have a present. But he does have one which he gives to Peggy. He then stands next to Marcy and states that Al's daughter has really blossomed. With this distraction over, Al heads to the garage and tries to escape. He is heard trying to start the car, but it wouldn't turn over. With no recourse, Al has no choice to come back in with a present. He presents Peggy with a can of motor oil and a road flare. The violinist states what Al knows which is that he didn't get anything for the anniversary.
Al tells Peggy that there was a mix-up with the credit card and that he'll fix it tomorrow. However, Peggy is mad and states that tomorrow is not our anniversary. Steve tells the Bundys that the "important thing is that you two have been together all these years. Isn't that what anniversaries are all about?" But would Steve show up without an anniversary present for Marcy? Of course not.
Steve and Marcy attempt to go, but dinner is served and they stay to eat because Peggy paid for the dinner. The violinist starts playing the anniversary song when everybody sits down. Al insists that he tried, but Peggy tells him to stop, which causes the violinist to stop. She offers caviar to the group.
Al insists that he tried to get the watch, but it is not his fault. He paid the credit card bill last month. Peggy insists that there is nothing wrong with the card as she used it to pay for the dinner including the caviar which Al is wearing on his elbow. As it turns out, the picture frame, dress, and power tools were paid for using the credit card. So when Al tried to use the credit card to pay for the watch, it threw up. After making a vomiting motion, which causes everybody to stop eating, Al tells everybody to eat while he enjoys the power tools in the garage.
Marcy hates that Peggy paid for everything using the credit card and she and Steve want her to apologize. But the key thing about their marriage is that whenever they have a major argument, Al never makes Peggy apologize because he cuts her off before she has to say the 'S' word.
Steve: Oh honey, I hope that we grow so close that I never have to apologize to you.
Marcy: Steve, you're interrupting.
Steve: I'm sorry.
A bit later, Peggy enters the garage while Al is working on her car. Al asks her where she got the dress and Peggy lies and says that she had it for years and that Al never notices what she wears. She states that she didn't realize that she put Al over his credit limit. After all, it is his money.
In the first time in a long time, Al wants Peggy to say the 'S' word. The reason is because he thought he saved up enough money to get a nice present that she deserves. Al felt bad walking in the house without it and worse thinking that you didn't think I tried. Peggy admits that he always tried to do something nice for the anniversary. She also states that "if the sixteen years we've been together isn't enough to say "I love you," what good would a stupid watch do?" But Al cuts her off before she is able to say the 'S' word.
Peggy asks if Al wants some soup tomorrow. He says no, but then shows Peggy the present he did get her. It was the radio from his car along with fixing the bass control so it doesn't vibrate her tush. Al turns on the radio to the oldies station and they dance the night away to Edwin Starr's "War" which is their song.
Cast[]
Regular Cast[]
- Ed O'Neill as Al Bundy
- Katey Sagal as Peggy Bundy
- Christina Applegate as Kelly Bundy
- David Faustino as Bud Bundy
- Amanda Bearse as Marcy Rhoades
- David Garrison as Steve Rhoades
Recurring Cast[]
Guest Stars[]
- Walter Olkewicz as Violinist (Bobo)
- Don Draper as Salesman
- Elias Zarou as Marcel
- Richard Sanders as Mr. Conner
Quotes[]
- Peggy: Well, I'm going out to get him something. Gee, what is it he's really wanting?
- Bud: That blonde down the street.
- Peggy: Did he tell you that?
- Bud: No, I just assumed it by the way he bites his fist every time he drives by her house.
- Al: See, you're obviously new to the married game. Let me help you out. See, the first thing I learned on my sixteen-year tour of duty, was that women live for presents. Now, you take the most honorary woman in the world, let's call her... Peggy, and you bring a crappy present home, like uh, that picture frame, your life will be a living hell.
- Mr. Conner: Well, my wife and I agreed we wouldn't spend too much on our anniversary. We decided to save our money for more important things.
- Al: There is no more important thing than your anniversary. See, an anniversary is something special. It's not like other holidays when other people are celebrating too, it's just between the two of ya. See, it's, it's a day when you can show how you feel the rest of the year, but you don't. 'Cause you're a man.
- Peggy: Would you like me to make you some soup for your lunch tomorrow?
- Al: Nah, it's okay. Last time I cut my hand on the can.
Notes[]
Title[]
- The episode title is a play on the lyrics "You load sixteen tons, what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt" from the song "Sixteen Tons" by Tennessee Ernie Ford.
- The song is also used as a references to another MWC episode, the season 9 episode, "25 Years and What Do You Get?", as both episodes focus on Al and Peggy's anniversary.
Trivia[]
- Peggy's license plate is Illinois F3B 359; it has previously appeared on the Mustang in Al's dream in "Have You Driven A Ford Lately?".
- This episode marks the first appearance of Tang (Tri-C in this case).
- The name, "Tri-C", is likely a play on "Tang" and another juice brand, "Hi-C".
- Embassy Jewels takes its name from Embassy Communications, the production company for the first two seasons of MWC.
- As evidenced by the production code, this was the third episode to be produced for the season, though it was the sixth episode aired.
Cultural References[]
- According to this website, Brimstone is not an anniversary gift for any year. Instead the traditional gift for the 16th anniversary is wax while a more modern gift would be silver holloware (anything having to do with the dinner other than silverware.)
- As stated in this episode and season two's "Peggy Loves Al, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah," paper is a traditional gift for the first anniversary.
- The picture frame that Mr. Conner intends to give his wife for their anniversary is an appropriate gift because it represents building the marriage and involves paper. Likewise, the modern first anniversary gift is a clock because it represents the passage of time. This includes the watch which was ultimately purchased by Mr. Conner after Al's credit card was declined.
Music[]
- The song that plays on the radio and Al & Peg call 'their' song is "War" by Edwin Starr.
Locations[]
Sets[]
- Bundy Living Room/Kitchen
- Jewelry Store
- Garage
Videos[]
External Links[]
Sixteen Years and What Do You Get? at the Internet Movie Database- Sixteen Years and What Do You Get on Bundyology
- Sixteen Years and What Do You Get - Illustrated Transcript on albundy.net
- #06 Sixteen Years and What Do You Get - MWC Podcast on Horrorphilia
| Season 1 Episodes | Season 2 ► | |
| Pilot • Thinnergy • But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy • Whose Room Is It Anyway? • Have You Driven a Ford Lately? • Sixteen Years and What Do You Get? • Married... without Children • The Poker Game • Peggy Sue Got Work • Al Loses His Cherry • Nightmare on Al's Street • Where's the Boss? • Johnny Be Gone | ||