The Desperate Half-Hour was the 22nd episode of Married... with Children, and the 257th overall series episode.
Directed by Gerry Cohen and co-written by Valerie Ahern & Christian McLaughlin, the episode premiered on FOX-TV on May 5, 1997. It was part of a two-episode story arc that aired on the same night as the concluding arc, "How to Marry a Moron (Part 2)".
Synopsis[]
The Bundys and D'Arcys are held hostage by Bud's pen pal Starla, who just broke out of prison. Kelly falls in love with Starla's accomplice Lonnie, who shares a similar intellect with Kelly.
Plot Summary[]
Al is kicking Peg and the kids out, so he can watch Death Wish 6 3-D in privacy on pay per view. But Bud also needs the house for himself: his pen pal, Starla is getting out of prison, and is coming to see him. Unfortunately, Starla decides to try rob the Bundy's at gunpoint. It turns out that she has escaped and is on the run, so she ends up holding the Bundys hostage. Starla also has a dim-witted boyfriend named Lonnie, to whom Kelly becomes attracted to. And the feeling is mutual. Then the D'Arcys, who are about to leave on a charity masquerade cruise, barge in and end up hostages as well.
After some thinking, Al sends Lucky out to get the cops while asking to go to the bathroom and put a "HELP" sign on the window. Starla, who is disappointed by the lack of luxury that Bud had promised her, as well as Lonnie flirting with Kelly, decides that they will take the D'Arcys' Mercedes and escape. Although the Bundys and D'Arcys are relieved when the duo finally leave, the moment is short lived, as they are forced to fall back after the police have the Bundy residence surrounded.
Lonnie announces to the group that he is breaking up with Starla and declares that he doesn't want to live a life of crime, as he is in love with Kelly. Upon hearing this, Starla decides that she will kill Kelly first. Lonnie quickly moves to wrestle the gun away from her, but it fires. Al then instantly dives in front of the bullet to protect his daughter, taking a bullet to his chest.
As the Chicago PD officers arrives and place Starla under arrest, Al reveals that he was able to survive due to his shoehorn being placed in his breast pocket. As the criminal duo is taken away, Starla decides to let Bud continue writing to her while Lonnie declarers that he will marry her as soon as he gets out of prison.
Cast[]
Main cast[]
- Ed O'Neill as Al Bundy
- Katey Sagal as Peggy Bundy
- Amanda Bearse as Marcy D'Arcy
- Christina Applegate as Kelly Bundy
- David Faustino as Bud Bundy
- Ted McGinley as Jefferson D'Arcy
Recurring cast/Guest stars[]
- Harold Sylvester as Griff
- Lucky as Lucky the Dog
- Chip Esten as Lonnie Tot
- Tricia Cast as Starla
- Bill Torees as Cop
- Damian Chapa as Police officer (uncredited)
Quotes[]
- Marcy: [to Jefferson] Now, remember no matter how she threatens us, do not tell her about the Mercedes.
- Jefferson: [quietly] Ok.
- Starla: [shoves Bud aside, confrontational] Hey, what are you whispering about?!
- Jefferson: [panicking] We have a Mercedes next door. Take it, here are the keys. [dops the keys into Starla's hand]
- Marcy: No! I won't let you!
- [Marcy immediately takes the keys back and tries to hide it down her blouse. But due to her lack of breasts, they immediately slide down to the floor. She grimaces then quickly picks them up.]
- Starla: Give me the keys.
- Marcy: No, Starla. You know, it's not too late to turn your life around. [lightly chuckles] So you were gonna blow away the Bundys. What's that, a $10 fine? But grand theft auto you're better than that. Inside you is a confused, misunderstood person who doesn't need a Mercedes, just a second chance.
- Starla: [pauses] Yeah, I'll think that over when I'm ditching your car in a lake. [snatches the keys from Marcy's hand]
- Marcy: [enraged] I HOPE YOU FRY! [Jefferson comes up and tries to hold her back] THERE'S NOT ENOUGH VOLTAGE IN ILLINOIS AND I'M GONNA SHAVE YOUR HEAD WHEN THEY STRAP YOU TO THE... [stops as Starla puts the gun to Marcy's forehead]
- [After the police arrived at the Bundy residence, Starla approaches the door with Al as her hostage]
- Starla: Now listen up, Pigs! I want a car to the airport, I want a plane to Brazil, and $50,000 cash!
- Al: I demand the same thing.
- Griff: [suddenly appears behind Starla, holding up a large to-go cup] And I need more Mountain Dew.
- [Starla and Lonnie are being taken away by the police]
- Lonnie: [to the police officer taking him outside] Wait, wait! [turns to Kelly] Kelly, this is not how I dreamt of this moment. [drops to his knee] But neither could I have dreamt of meeting someone as beautiful and perfect and smart as you. Kelly Bundy... will you marry me?
- Kelly: [emotional] I thought you'd never ask. [hugs Lonnie, as he begins to stand up] I'll wait for you.
- Lonnie: I will too, my darling. No matter whose wife I am in prison, I'll always be your husband.
Notes[]
Title[]
- The title of the episode is a reference to the 1955 film, The Desperate Hours, which, like this episode, involves three escaped convicts holding a family hostage.
Trivia[]
- Tricia Cast, who plays Starla, previously starred in the 1984–85 NBC sitcom It's Your Move, which was produced by MWC creators Ron Leavitt and Michael G. Moye and starred MWC co-star David Garrison.
- Kelly reveals that Peggy took her to a male strip club for her 12th birthday and had to drive Peggy home due to her being intoxicated.
- One of the cops is played by an uncredited Damian Chapa, who best known at the time for his role in the film Street Fighter and Blood In, Blood Out.
- Along with "Johnny Be Gone", this is one of a few MWC episodes that takes place entirely within the Bundy living room/kitchen.
Cultural References[]
- Al mentions that he plans to watch Death Wish 6 and notes how it gory it will be in 3-D.
- Death Wish is a series of films that originally starred Charles Bronson as a New York architect who becomes a vigilante after his family is murdered, along with avenging the murders of several other people in his life throughout the series. It was known for its gratuitous violence and spanned five films between 1974 and 1994.
- Technically, there was in fact a plan for a sixth film, titled Death Wish 6: The New Vigilante, but was cancelled following the disappointing performance of Death Wish 5 in 1994. However, there was a 2018 remake starring Bruce Willis, which takes place in Chicago instead of New York and the main character being a E.R. surgeon instead of architect. It also features actor Dean Norris, who played Al's fellow Polk High Panther, Rodent, in the season 9 episode "Dud Bowl".
- Starla told Bud that she looked like supermodel Cindy Crawford, while Bud told her that he looked like actor Brad Pitt.
- After Lonnie walks into the Bundy residence and sees Starla with a gun, Peggy tells him, "Wake up, Jethro!", in reference to the character, Jethro Bodine from the television sitcom The Beverly Hillbillies.
- Al and Griff mention the soft drink brands, Mr. Pibb and Mtn. Dew.
Music[]
- Al sings a variation of "Old McDonald Had a Farm" called "Old Chuck Bronson Had a Gun".
Locations[]
Sets[]
- Bundy Living Room / Kitchen
Goofs[]
- After Starla shoots the remote control in Al's hand, David Faustino can be seen trying to hold back a smile as Peggy pushes Al aside and cries. Katey Sagal also seems to being smiling for just a moment as she picks up the damaged remoted.
- During Marcy's rant at Starla after boasting that she would ditch the D'Arcy's Mercedes-Benz into a lake, she tells Starla that she hopes that she gets the electric chair and will personally shave her bald before they strap her in. In reality, the state of Illinois uses lethal injection instead of the electric chair in cases involving the death penalty.
- Al is shot in the chest and shows that his now bent lucky shoehorn is what saved him, yet his shirt doesn't have a bullet hole or anything else to indicate that he was shot in the first place.