Married with Children Wiki

The Legend of Ironhead Haynes was the 180th overall series episode of Married... with Children and also 23rd episode of Season 8 of the series. Directed by Gerry Cohen and written by Katherine Green, the episode originally aired on FOX-TV on May 1, 1994.


Beset once more by angry fat women in the twenty-third episode of season 8, and Marcy's aggressive feminism in particular, Al sets out to rediscover the roots of true manhood, hiking up a mountain to contact "Ironhead Haynes", the last "real man" he knows of as the NO MA'AM gang seeks his advice.


When another complaint from a fat woman at the shoe store results in Al getting threatened by possibly losing his parking space and being reprimanded not to insult anymore fat women, he, Jefferson and the rest of his men's club NO MA'AM seek out a legendary guru macho man to seek his advice on how to battle political correctness. Meanwhile, Bud, Kelly & Peggy steal a full fridge from a funeral and hides it from Al in the Garage. Actor/Country Music singer Waylon Jennings guest stars.

Recurring Cast/Regulars[]

Guest starring[]



  • The title of this episode is a reference to the song "Ballad Of Ira Hayes" by Johnny Cash


  • This episode is the final appearance of Hill Harper as Aaron, Al's assistant at the shoe store during season 8. It was never explained why he suddenly disappeared.
  • This episode also marks the final appearance of Steve Susskid as Barney, Al's friend since season 1.
    • For some reason, Sussikid is created as playing "Stan", even though he is wearing the same outfit as he did in "NO MA'AM".
  • This episode is also the final appearance of Roger, the NO MA'AM member who would verbally spar with Al over their wives. He previously appeared in "NO MA'AM".
    • Chris Collins (a.k.a. Chris Latta), the actor who played Roger died a little over a month after this episode aired.
  • Although Officer Dan arrested Al and members of NO MA'AM in the episode, "NO MA'AM", he appears to now be a full fledged member in this episode.
    • Officer Dan becomes a full fledged member in I Want My Psycho Dad (Part 1). This episode and the second part were both delayed until midway through season 9 due to a dispute between producers and FOX.[1]
  • When Bud comes in and throw a paper airplane into the NO MA'AM meeting, he claims it to be Miss January. The picture he actually used is Playboy Playmate of the March 1994, Neriah Davis and had been edited to put a bikini top and bottom over the original nude centerfold.
  • Officer Dan mentions that Ironhead Haynes "lives alone on the tallest mountain in Illinois". The highest natural point in Illinois is Charles Mound, which is actually a rolling hill standing at 1235 ft. and located 11 miles northeast of Galena and just northeast of Scales Mound.
    • Galena is a city located near the Mississippi River along US Highway 20 and is the home of President Ulysses S. Grant.
    • The actual high point can be accessed by taking Jo Daviess County Highway 4 from Elizabeth (a village on US Highway 20) to Scales Mound. At Scales Mound, just follow the truck route to Charles Mound Road.
  • In the original airing of the episode, during the ending credits, Al is shown sneaking into the garage and it turns out he has his own fridge hidden from the rest of the family. On the DVD release, the scene is changed to a just a still frame of Al looking inside the hidden fridge while "Love and Marriage" plays over the credits.

Cultural References[]

  • When Al comes down the mountain with white hair and the Nine Commandments on the two pieces of the guitar body, it is a parody of Moses and the Ten Commandments.
  • After looking at the paper airplane with Miss January, Al looks on the back and compares Roger's wife to looking like Dick Butkus, a retired NFL Player and sports commentator who was a linebacker for the Chicago Bears from 1965 to 1973.



  • Bundy Living Room / Kitchen
  • Bundy Garage
  • Gary's Shoes Seating Area / Entrance
  • Chicago Mountain Hiking Trail
  • Ironhead Haynes Living Space


  • Officer Dan mentions that Ironhead Haynes "lives alone on the tallest mountain in Illinois", but Illinois is a prairie and doesn't have any mountains as depicted in the episode. The highest area in the state of Illinois is Charles Mound, which is actually a hill with rolling farmland and is shorter than the Sears Tower.
◄ Season 7 Season 8 Episodes Season 9 ►
A Tisket, a Tasket, Can Peg Make a Basket?Hood 'n the BoyzProud to Be Your Bud
Luck of the BundysBanking on MarcyNo Chicken, No CheckTake My Wife, PleaseScared Single
NO MA'AMDances with WeezieChange for a BuckA Little Off the TopThe Worst Noel
Sofa So GoodHoney, I Blew Up MyselfHow Green Was My AppleValentine's Day Massacre
Get Outta DodgeField of ScreamsThe D'Arcy FilesNooner or LaterRide Scare
The Legend of Ironhead HaynesAssault and BatteriesAl Goes DeepKelly Knows Something