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You Can't Miss was the 17th episode of Season 7 of Married... with Children, also the 148th overall episode of the series. Directed by Amanda Bearse and written by Joel Valentincic (credited as Joel Valentine) and Scott Zimbler, the episode originally on FOX, premiering on February 21, 1993.

Synopsis[]

Bud appears on a Dating Game-style game show, hosted by (Bill Maher), to win the affections of a girl (Chantel Dubay) who would rather date the show's hunk than Bud. Meanwhile, Al and Peg fight in a battle of wills over who will fall asleep first, and Kelly thinks there's a conspiracy against her when she confuses one day for another.

Storyline[]

After one too many dateless Saturdays, Bud appears on a new TV dating game show called "You Can't Miss" for the less experienced, but not quite with the expected results. Meanwhile, the low IQ Kelly believes that there's a conspiracy to keep her from knowing what day it is.

Bud wins the date with Candy when she chooses him over the hunky Rodrigo but has to go back on the show to see if she will still choose him. Bud delivers a heartfelt speech about how he would treat Candy right and that he is the right guy for her and Rodrigo is the wrong guy that would do nothing but treat her terribly. Despite this, she chooses Rodrigo and Bud is left with the consolation prize of car wax. When Bud gets home, he is holding a box of car wax and offers it to anyone who wants it, sarcastically commenting "My reward for making an ass out of myself on national TV". To Bud's surprise, Kelly gives him several notes of girl's phone numbers who saw Bud's impassioned speech and want to go out with him. One of the girls is nerdy like Bud but also gives a speech about treating him right and not hurting him. Bud kisses her but ends up ironically doing to her what Candy did to him and chooses one of the more attractive girls. 

Guest stars/Recurring cast[]

Cast regulars[]

Guest starring[]

  • Bill Maher as Adam
  • Chantel Dubay as Candy Lapinsky
  • Matt Winston as Eugene
  • Brian Leckner as Henry
  • Allison Barron as Tania
  • Kiamalise Budak as Betty
  • Ron Evans as Rodrigo
  • Tiffany Sloan as Carol
  • Arthur Hanket as Anchorman (voice)

Quotes[]

  • Peggy: I'm not going to sleep without you! We haven't been to bed at the same in 10 years.
  • Al: And you notice we haven't had anymore children in 10 years, so I must be doing something right!
  • Peggy: Honey, just because we had kids doesn't mean you were doing anything right back then either.
  • Al: You're sexy when you neuter me that way.

  • Adam: Now, for you first-time viewers, who may be wondering why a woman like this [gestures towards the attractive Candy] would want to go out with one of these losers, the answer is very simple. We give her one thousand dollars.

  • Bud: Candy, this is all I have to say. Lets talk about women and the wrong choices they make. This... [gestures behind himself towards Rodrigo] is the wrong choice. And I'll tell you why. He'll treat you like dirt! He'll disappear for days! He'll lie to you! He'll cheat on you! [looks away while pondering] Everything I would do if I looked like him... [focuses back on Candy] But I'm here for the duration, baby! The best thing about me is, I've never had anyone as good as you. He has!
  • [Bud gestures towards Rodrigo, who looks directly at the camera and smiles while nodding, indicating that what Bud said is true]
  • Bud: You know I haven't! And you don't have to worry about where I've been, because I'm a "two time or less". It's up to you! Two minutes with a god who will dump you... or a lifetime with a guy who will worship you as a goddess. Your choice is clear!
  • Candy: [to Adam] I'll take Rodrigo!
  • [Candy pushes Bud aside and grabs her suitcase, then walks arm in arm with Rodrigo, as Adam comes up to Bud]
  • Adam: Enjoy your car wax, punk!

  • [A large group of leggy, attractive women in short dresses are outside the Bundy residence, calling out to Bud after seeing him on 'You Can't Miss!' and try to get a date with him]
  • Carol: Hi, Bud! I saw you on TV! Choose me!
  • Tania: [pushes Carol aside] No! Choose me and I'll hurt you more than any of these girls!
  • [suddenly from the crowd, a shorter, conservatively dressed bespectacled woman tries to emerge from the group]
  • Betty: Wait! Wait! [finally pushes through the group and comes up close to Bud] Its not just women who make bad choices. [smiles] I think you're gorgeous! You're my "Rodrigo"! Choose me! She'll hurt you! I'll be good to you! She'll cheat on you! I'll be faithful! She'll spend your money! You can spend mine! I'll worship you because.... I know how great you are, inside and out! What's your choice?
  • [After a moment, Bud grabs Betty and passionately kisses her. After finishing their kiss, Bud looks back at the group of women at his door]
  • Bud: [to Tania] ... Let's go!
  • [Bud takes Tania by the hand and walks with her out the door, as Carol and the other girls look on]

Notes[]

Title[]

  • The title of the episode is a reference to the game show that Bud appears on.
    • It is also a reference to the idiom, "You can't miss", meaning that it would be impossible to lose at something and is essentially a guaranteed win. As Adam points, the game show is about showing that out of the three contestants, despite their looks and personalities, one of them is guaranteed a date with the female contestant.

Trivia[]

  • At the beginning of the episode, Al and Peggy get into an argument about going to bed together, saying its been over 10 years since they went to bed at the same time on a Saturday night. In "Magnificent Seven", Al mentions that he stays up extra late on Saturday nights while eating tacos, so he can have the bed to himself on Sunday mornings.
  • Peggy states that Bud is 20 years old as of this episode.
  • Chantel Dubay, who plays Candy, the girl that Bud tries to date on the game show, would later go on to become a "Barker's Beauty" on the game show The Price is Right.
  • Tiffany Sloan, who plays Carol, the girl in the purple dress who visits Bud at the end of the episode, was Playboy's Playmate of the Month for October 1992. She had just earned the title four months before the episode was filmed and was also the youngest Playmate to appear on MWC, as she was just 19 years old at the time.
  • Allison Barron, who plays Tania, a girl in a magenta dress who visits Bud after his appearance on the game show, previously appeared on MWC as Lauren, one of Kelly's friends in the season 3 episode, "The House That Peg Lost".
  • Bud confirms that he has had two sexual partners in this episode.

Cultural References[]

  • Peggy sings a song that parodies "I Want to be Loved By You" an old pop standard recorded by Helen Kane (and repopularized in the 50's by Marilyn Monroe) while asking Al to rub her tush.
  • After Peg teases Al to massage her "tush", he says, "Peg, I wouldn't rub your tushy if Robin Williams popped out of it and offered me 3 wishes". That is a nod to the 1992 Disney movie, Aladdin, and actor/comedian Robin Williams, who voiced the blue genie in the film.
  • The game show that Bud appears on You Can't Miss is an obvious parody of the 1970s game show, The Dating Game. Some of the similar elements include:
    • Both shows feature a bachelorette, as a contestant, questioning three bachelors.
    • The white set with a divider between the male and female contestants is modeled after The Dating Game set.
  • Kelly mentions that she watches the political commentary show Meet the Press religiously.
    • Bill Maher, who plays Adam the game show host, would later host his own political commentary show, Politically Incorrect five months after this episode originally aired. Following its cancellation in 2002, he became the host of Real Time with Bill Maher in 2003.
  • Kelly mentions that she would get her revenge on those who are conspiring against her like J. Edger Hover by wearing a red dress, referring to the Director of the FBI and stories claiming that he would often cross dress as well as how he would use blackmailing techniques against those who opposed him.
  • The game show appears to be based on two dating game shows: Love Connection and The Dating Game:
    • The show's logo and backdrop are similar in design to the one used on the The Dating Game during its original run prior to 1986.
    • The show's concept of a bachelorette asking questions to three single men who are hidden behind a panel in order to impress her and get a date is the same concept used on The Dating Game.
    • Adam's speaking mannerisms and personality are similar to Love Connection host, Chuck Woolery, with Bud calling Adam a "Poor man's Chuck Woolery".
      • Although Woolery was primarily known for being the original host of Love Connection from 1983 to 1994, he also hosted the revived version of The Dating Game during the late 1990s.
    • The theme song for You Can't Miss sounds very similar to the Love Connection theme song.
    • Similar to how Bud and Candy return to the show after their date to see if she would choose Rodrigo over Bud, Love Connection would also have follow-up episodes, where the couple would be brought back on and interviewed to see if there was a chance for another date.
  • As Bud tries to show his family his date, Peggy says to Marcy and Jefferson, "He had it bad for Ginger, but now he likes Mary-Ann". Peggy was talking about two of the castaways, Ginger Grant and Mary Ann Summers, on the 1960s sitcom, Gilligan's Island.
    • Tina Louise who played Ginger on the show, appeared on MWC as Miss Beck in the season five episode, "Kelly Bounces Back".
    • In various episodes of MWC, it was mentioned that Al also had a crush on Ginger.
  • During Kelly's conspiracy rant, she tells her parents, "Its a giant conspiracy, you know, like who killed that movie president guy, Jifk". This is in reference to the 1991 political thriller film, JFK, which presents multiple conspiracy theories surrounding the assassination of U.S. President, John F. Kennedy, known as J.F.K., in 1963.
  • When Bud asks to make his last plea with Candy, Adam chuckles and says "Well, talk about the little engine that could", in reference to the children's book of the same name that teaches children that hard work will pay off.

Music[]

  • Peggy sings "I Want to Be Rubbed by You" to Al.
  • Al and Peggy sing "Brahms' Lullaby" to each other to go to bed.

Locations[]

Sets[]

  • Bundy Living Room / Kitchen
  • "You Can't Miss" Set

Goofs[]

  • At the beginning of the episode, Peggy tells Kelly that Bud is 20 years old. Given that the episode is taking place around February 1993, this would contract Bud's given birthday of January 22, 1974, as well as the episode "Christmas", which shows him as a young baby in Christmas 1974, and the Season 6 episode, "Rites of Passage", as Bud turned 18 years old in that episode, which would have taken place in January 1992. So that would mean Bud should actually be 19 years old as of this episode.
    • Though the error would technically be in line with the season premiere episode, "Magnificent Seven", which would have taken place in September 1992, when Kelly implied that he was already 19 years old after asking him how he feels after waiting 19 years for someone to be in bed with him, due to him sharing the bed with Seven.
◄ Season 6 Season 7 Episodes Season 8 ►
Magnificent SevenT-R-A-Something-Something Spells TrampEvery Bundy Has a Birthday
Al on the RocksWhat I Did for LoveFrat ChanceThe Chicago Wine Party
Kelly Doesn't Live Here AnymoreRock of AgesDeath of a Shoe SalesmanThe Old College Try
ChristmasWedding ShowIt Doesn't Get Any Better Than ThisHeels on WheelsMr. Empty Pants
You Can't MissPeggy and the PiratesGo for the OldUn-Alful EntryMovie Show
'Til Death Do Us Part'Tis Time to Smell the RosesOld Insurance DodgeThe Wedding Repercussions
The Proposition
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